The feeling of never being good enough

 Feeling like you're not good enough is a common experience that many people go through at some point in their lives. Here are some things that may help you cope with this feeling:

Recognize that it's normal: Remember that feeling like you're not good enough is a common human experience. You're not alone in this.

Challenge negative self-talk: Notice when you're engaging in negative self-talk and try to challenge those thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. For example, instead of thinking "I'm not good enough," try thinking "I'm doing the best I can."

Set realistic expectations: Set goals that are challenging but achievable. Break them down into smaller, manageable steps so that you can see progress over time.

Focus on your strengths: Identify your strengths and focus on them. This can help you build confidence and feel more positive about yourself.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, or mental health professional. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings can help you feel better.

Remember, feeling like you're not good enough doesn't mean that you're not capable or deserving of success. With patience, persistence, and self-compassion, you can overcome these feelings and achieve your goals.

Period depression

  No one talks about period depression. No one tells you how bad it is and how bad it can get. 

No one talks about the worthless feeling you have and the hopeless feelings that comes with it.

 No one talks about the pain nor how bad a person can suffer in silence and pretend that everything is okay when it's not. 

Nothing feels okay. Sleeping during the day and staying awake all night. The worrying, the stress, panic attacks the anexity.

 The pressure of having to hide how you feel and having to keep it together. No one talks about this.

 No one talks about the mental health you struggle with while trying to live. While trying to keep it all together. 

It all hits the worst at night while your body is trying to relax. 

A lot of people suffers from this and so much more. I am included on this. 

It's okay not to be okay... We will get through this. 

Depression

 Depression can be so bad that no one can notice until it is to late. You wouldn't know if someone is suffering from depression unless someone tell you. Depressed people such as myself can pretty much mask it and pretend everything is okay when it's totally not and no one will ever know unless they are around you for long periods of time.

 People don't realize that depression can come from just about anything in life from the way a person lives, jobs, not reaching goals and dreams, and pretty much anything that doesn't make the person happy. It could even be the people around you that has brought you down and made you not believe in yourself or they reached their goals and brag about it. 

It is more than just sadness. It is anger that is built up inside from feeling like you have failed and failed so many times and you feel like your not going to make it and you don't want to make it anymore you just want everything to end since you feel like a failure. It's not eating much, not showering, not cleaning, not doing anything you enjoy just laying in bed all day feeling worthless.

Depression is real and it sucks. I say this because one minute your fine and happy the next your sad and depressed trying to figure out what went wrong and over thinking the whole thing causing so much issues that it's just crushing you and you feel yourself lost and wondering. 

It can get to the point of you feeling so along that you just want to end it. You feel like nothing good is going to happen but good things do happen you just have to hang on and be hopeful.

People don't understand. They only start to worry when you go missing and not returning the calls and not there anymore. That's when they start to worry. 

Check on your friends. Most of us are not okay and only saying we are while battling depression so no one worries.

Applying to job after job after job trying to make better of the life we leave but only getting shut down and no call backs and no interviews. Don't give up, it will all come together eventually you just have to hold on.

Loving someone but they treat you so horribly, telling you one thing but lying the next and you whole heartily love them and want to be with them but they only use you until you feel like you are nothing and worthless.

Trying to open up to friends and family but they don't care. They tell you it's life and get over it until one day your over life and no longer here is when they ask why didn't they talk to me or us? Why did they do it? Why did they leave us? But when you tried to talk to them they shoved you off.

Ways to help this is remove negative people in your life. The ones that are always shooting you down and not believing in you. You have to believe in yourself sometimes and give yourself the support that you need cause people out here are not your friends and only want what they can get from you and it doesn't matter how you feel or what you tell them. You have to burn a bridge and careful of the company you keep. Don't tell everyone everything cause they will use it against you.

Give yourself a mental break and take a break from everything that's troubling you and rest. Self care and love is the best of care and love. 

And if you don't feel loved. I love you.

Worthless feeling

Ever been blamed for things you have not done?
Ever see things you want to buy but no money?
Ever try to help someone but get yelled at for ever trying?

Feeling worthless happens because the way you treat a person. Them trying to help but yet you just push them around and scream at them when they just want to make things better.

Them trying to talk but can't even express the way they feel because it effects you for no reason and you just act like everything is okay.

Being told you can talk to me but yet it's like WWIII.

I'm tired so tired of this feeling. I want to escape it. I want to scream and shout and just disappear from it all. This feeling has never went away it just got smaller and smaller until recently.

Depression is something most people do not understand. Things happen and you don't even realize it's happening. You just sit there and swim in your thoughts trying to cope and smile like it's all going to be okay but on the inside your crying trying to escape yourself, your feelings your depression. Until it wins and your no longer here. You struggle and struggle and struggle but no one can tell the difference when your painting a smile on your face.

When Depression Strikes

Dealing with depression is hard along with anxiety. It gets to the point you don't know which way to go or what to do. It often gets so bad that nothing feels okay everything is your fault, your worthless, your no good, your nothing. Sometimes you don't want to be around anyone cause you hurt so bad and thoughts circle your mind repeatedly telling you to give in it's not worth it,  your not needed, your worthless and no one will miss you. It is tough to live with. Sometimes you are okay and others your not. Some days your perfectly fine and then at nights when you lay down to rest your up rocking and crying trying to cope trying your hardest to tell yourself your okay that your not worthless, that you are someone but at times the thoughts win and your crushed. Some people do not understand it. Some people will never understand but others have dealt and dealing with it trying to cope trying to help those around them before it's to late and they are no longer here. Some night is insomniac nights where you cannot sleep and you lay there thinking about life and crying asking why does it hurt, why are you still here, what is left for me?  People do not know this because the strongest person doesn't tell anyone. The strongest person smiles on the outside but falling apart as everything is crushing them on the inside. As they stand by themselves trying to make sure everyone else is good while they do their best to cope. Some people will not understand this but others will. Most people never had to go through this but some did and they will tell you it will all be okay and they are here to help you with everything and they will help build yourself up so nothing can break you and you will have a support system as you start to fall which is okay they will help you but sometimes this doesn't always work sometimes you go back to square one and everything you worked hard on is torn back to pieces and your slowly laying down having insomniac nights and long days trying to cope.

Dead inside

The tear roll down my face
my depression kicks in
I'm such a mess
a beautiful tragedy that
is broken
More blood
more tissue
More tears
repeat each
day life is like
blade it comes
in stabs you and
repeats
rips things
apart till
there's nothing
left

Drowning in my tears

I'm drowning in my tears
I've cried so much I can not see
it all hurts
everything hurts
it feels broken
I can't put it back
together it keeps
cracking, falling, breaking
I can't reach
its to far to grab
its falling and falling
I'm falling and falling
down... more and more
everything is spinning
spinning out of control
nothing to hold on to
nothing to grab
it's all fading away
like there is nothing
left... left of me
I am broken in to pieces
crying the last of my tears
trying to put it all together...
me all together....

Ripping on the inside

My heart feels like its been ripped out of my chest

the pain throbs and throbs and throbs 

the tears are rolling down my face 

as there is a frog in my throat 

I am so confused of what to do 

where to go

I am so confused 

everything feels so 

shattered so broken

I am hurting on the inside 

I am hurting on the out 

this is so unreal 

this depression 

its got a hold of me 

all I can do is cry 

I stress, I worry 

its all crashing down

all around 

I don't know what to do

As it all falls around me....

Everything is falling and breaking

I can’t catch it all nor put it back together

I’m so broken and torn, doesn’t matter how many times you put me back

together I still shatter….

I’m so emotional

But i guess this is it

Postpartum

The things they tried to warn me about

The thing that's broken me into pieces

Holding on with the little strength I have left

As I finish breaking to pieces

With my family by my side as I crumble apart

While I watch them grow i can’t give up I have to

Much to lose