The feeling of never being good enough

 Feeling like you're not good enough is a common experience that many people go through at some point in their lives. Here are some things that may help you cope with this feeling:

Recognize that it's normal: Remember that feeling like you're not good enough is a common human experience. You're not alone in this.

Challenge negative self-talk: Notice when you're engaging in negative self-talk and try to challenge those thoughts with more positive and realistic ones. For example, instead of thinking "I'm not good enough," try thinking "I'm doing the best I can."

Set realistic expectations: Set goals that are challenging but achievable. Break them down into smaller, manageable steps so that you can see progress over time.

Focus on your strengths: Identify your strengths and focus on them. This can help you build confidence and feel more positive about yourself.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, or mental health professional. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings can help you feel better.

Remember, feeling like you're not good enough doesn't mean that you're not capable or deserving of success. With patience, persistence, and self-compassion, you can overcome these feelings and achieve your goals.

Christmas is coming

 Sometimes during the Christmas month, we are not sure what to get our significant other or spouse. We also often times are not sure what to get for family and honestly that is okay. 

I also know this is the time people are alone the most and don't celebrate it for reasons, so if you know someone who is like this, just go spend time with them and hang out. Don't let them be alone. Being alone for the holidays sucks and no one deserves to be alone. 

 This season is all about the thought that counts and anyone would be glad to receive anything that you get them. The season is also about giving and spend with one another and cherishing. 

I know sometimes people are not the best and family tend to be hateful or mean but one day they will regret it all and try to come back and if they do, let them. 

Try to see through it all and spend time with them and if you feel you cannot then don't. No reason to put yourself through this. I have a good heart so I always believe in second chances but sometimes it is best to just leave it alone rather than to be hurt. Trust me, I know. 

One day the people who done wrong will regret it all as they sit there and look back on it trying to figure out why no one visits them and why they ended up alone when it is there fault. 

But, I wish you all a Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Merry Xmas, Happy new years and I love you all! 

Abandonment feeling by family

The abandoned feeling comes from many different ways and family is included. It is like my mother only cares about my little brothers accomplishments. 

I graduated college and got my certificate she only tells me she's proud of me but my brother graduates and she's posting it all over Facebook. I just don't get it. 

They never come to see me, it is always me to go see them. They never ask me how I am, they don't even talk to me unless it's someone dies. They don't come see their grandkids it's me always taking them to see them. 

It's like I don't even matter to them. They don't care about me until something major happens to me and then they probably won't care then. 

It's the alone feeling I get the feeling of abandonment. The feeling of none of my accomplishments matter to them. 

Most days I feel like I am dying and I never even bother telling them. No point in it. Every time I come around it's like job and work and everyone else tells things that they are doing but no one cares about me it feels like and it sucks. They act like I haven't been looking for work or jobs but with my health no one will hire me.

They were right, people pick and choose who there favorites are, I guess that is the reason I'm the black sheep of the family.

 When I get my degree, I'm not even going to bother telling them. When I buy my first home, I'm not even gonna bother telling them, no point in it. 

They rather hang out with my old friend from high school and her parents instead of me so be it.

I didn't realize that when I grew up, I would be alone... 

We would get made fun of and threatened if we did wrong, we got made fun of from our weight in which it isn't our fault. Growing up wasn't the greatest, I would stick to myself and not bother, pretend I wasn't there stayed in my room cause I didn't feel like I was welcomed...

They would never take us to the beach, they would always drop us off at our aunts so they could go to the beach with my fathers parents every year for my parents anniversary but claim they would take us. My bother went to the beaches and other trips with his friends.

 I went to the beach back in like 2017 for the first time before I got married. They never took us anywhere really. We never went to the zoo, never went to Carowinds or an amusement park, it was we never really went anywhere and it sucks, we never spent time with them at all. The first time ever I went to Carowinds was on a school field trip in middle school and that was it. 

I don't have any trips with family to remember, I don't have time with family to cherish all I have is sadness and misery due to they never really done anything with us.

 It is like I missed out while others were able to go out and have fun and go to different places and now, that I am older, I want to take my kids out and I want to show them things I never got to do. 

So I am becoming the person that I needed when I was growing up. 

Also want you to know, that abandonment feeling will never go away. The feeling of being alone will never go away. Does not matter if you're married, have friends, or have a partner, you will just have to cope with it and find away because no matter how many people there are around you, you will always feel alone. 

You are never alone with me. I love you! 

https://ko-fi.com/post/Abandonment-feeling-by-family-N4N2H4MWE

Marriage and Clingy-ness

Lets talk about marriage and how sweet it is shall we? It's a great thing marriage is when you find the right person to confide in but now lets talk about clingy-ness the one thing that causes marriage to kind of shift away.

Clingy-ness is not good for a marriage it brings all kinds of things such as jealousy, selfishness and many other things. It can turn a beautiful process into a beautiful nightmare and tragedy.

Marriage is suppose to be built on trust but if there is no trust then guess what there is nothing there it turns into a repeating nightmare that you just want to escape from and have fears that you cannot.

You can become broken if and start to crumble as your trying to hold it all together there should never be selfishness in marriage and if there is trust then you should never have to worry if your spouse still wants you and loves you.

Being broken is hard while trying to hold up your head and make sure nothing is falling apart. It is a tough job when one person is pulling the whole thing because the other person has gave up. It can and will destroy you as a person and end up  tearing you down. Sometimes if it is like this it's best to leave the marriage and rebuild. Other times it's best to communicate and tell the other how you feel or it will keep happening.

Communication is key in any relationship, don't get mad don't judge just listen to what the other one say and nine times out of ten it will make it better.

I'm Tired!!! HELLO DO YOU UNDERSTAND???

Repeating repeating repeating, am I the only one, do you love me, I am the only one you want, you don't want anyone else but me right?

Being watched over my should like I'm 12, are you talking about me, what are you talking about with them? I'm the only one right?

Constant, constant constantly being told I don't walk to you or tell you how I feel because you get mad. I don't even get mad its all you!

Constantly getting mad when I try to say how I feel. Repeating myself over and over and over and over again like a broken record player.

Getting to the point I'm tired of fussing and arguing and being blamed!

Get yourself together we've been together almost 4 years been married one and it's like a one man relationship at times!

STOP FOCUSING ON YOURSELF AND START FOCUSING ON YOUR FAMILY !!!

SELFISHNESS GETS YOU NOWHERE AND YOU WILL END UP ALONE!!!

Alone...

Do you know what it feels like when your alone.... Everything hits you all at once....Everything feels like its your fault... your depression hits you so hard that you cry at the littlest thing.... Have you ever felt alone, like no one will ever understand even if you tried to explain it but words just won't come out and they can't express the way you feel? Have you ever tried to talk but the tears kept rolling and coming down your face and nothing comes out but the sounds of cries that you've been trying to hold back but it's to much so they just show on their own and the only thing that comes out of your mouth is that weird sound that comes from your throat because all the tears have you choked up and you just wanna let it all go and watch it destory itself and you like it did on the inside.