Worthless feeling

Ever been blamed for things you have not done?
Ever see things you want to buy but no money?
Ever try to help someone but get yelled at for ever trying?

Feeling worthless happens because the way you treat a person. Them trying to help but yet you just push them around and scream at them when they just want to make things better.

Them trying to talk but can't even express the way they feel because it effects you for no reason and you just act like everything is okay.

Being told you can talk to me but yet it's like WWIII.

I'm tired so tired of this feeling. I want to escape it. I want to scream and shout and just disappear from it all. This feeling has never went away it just got smaller and smaller until recently.

Depression is something most people do not understand. Things happen and you don't even realize it's happening. You just sit there and swim in your thoughts trying to cope and smile like it's all going to be okay but on the inside your crying trying to escape yourself, your feelings your depression. Until it wins and your no longer here. You struggle and struggle and struggle but no one can tell the difference when your painting a smile on your face.

When Depression Strikes

Dealing with depression is hard along with anxiety. It gets to the point you don't know which way to go or what to do. It often gets so bad that nothing feels okay everything is your fault, your worthless, your no good, your nothing. Sometimes you don't want to be around anyone cause you hurt so bad and thoughts circle your mind repeatedly telling you to give in it's not worth it,  your not needed, your worthless and no one will miss you. It is tough to live with. Sometimes you are okay and others your not. Some days your perfectly fine and then at nights when you lay down to rest your up rocking and crying trying to cope trying your hardest to tell yourself your okay that your not worthless, that you are someone but at times the thoughts win and your crushed. Some people do not understand it. Some people will never understand but others have dealt and dealing with it trying to cope trying to help those around them before it's to late and they are no longer here. Some night is insomniac nights where you cannot sleep and you lay there thinking about life and crying asking why does it hurt, why are you still here, what is left for me?  People do not know this because the strongest person doesn't tell anyone. The strongest person smiles on the outside but falling apart as everything is crushing them on the inside. As they stand by themselves trying to make sure everyone else is good while they do their best to cope. Some people will not understand this but others will. Most people never had to go through this but some did and they will tell you it will all be okay and they are here to help you with everything and they will help build yourself up so nothing can break you and you will have a support system as you start to fall which is okay they will help you but sometimes this doesn't always work sometimes you go back to square one and everything you worked hard on is torn back to pieces and your slowly laying down having insomniac nights and long days trying to cope.

I ain’t gonna hurt you...

Those are the first words you hear.. time and time again.. when your hurt you want to believe it's true.. after they hurt you it become harder to believe when those words are told.. It takes lots of trust to believe it.. but after being hurt the first time it's hard to, doesn’t matter who the person is it still feels like they are going to hurt you… guess what at times. No matter how strong you make yourself they will hurt you someway and break you down till the point you feel like nothing and worthless. After being hurt time after time before trust is hard to come by.. I ain’t gonna hurt you just become words… Words are not actions but words can hurt just like actions… Being hurt can bring you down mentally and emotionally and physically to the point it’s pointless of believing and trying to keep trust while it's pointless of keep trying when you feel worthless and like your nothing so you try to put yourself together and figure out where you went wrong  but you tear youself down again and then the words you hea are  but I ain't gonna hurt you...