Depression

 Depression can be so bad that no one can notice until it is to late. You wouldn't know if someone is suffering from depression unless someone tell you. Depressed people such as myself can pretty much mask it and pretend everything is okay when it's totally not and no one will ever know unless they are around you for long periods of time.

 People don't realize that depression can come from just about anything in life from the way a person lives, jobs, not reaching goals and dreams, and pretty much anything that doesn't make the person happy. It could even be the people around you that has brought you down and made you not believe in yourself or they reached their goals and brag about it. 

It is more than just sadness. It is anger that is built up inside from feeling like you have failed and failed so many times and you feel like your not going to make it and you don't want to make it anymore you just want everything to end since you feel like a failure. It's not eating much, not showering, not cleaning, not doing anything you enjoy just laying in bed all day feeling worthless.

Depression is real and it sucks. I say this because one minute your fine and happy the next your sad and depressed trying to figure out what went wrong and over thinking the whole thing causing so much issues that it's just crushing you and you feel yourself lost and wondering. 

It can get to the point of you feeling so along that you just want to end it. You feel like nothing good is going to happen but good things do happen you just have to hang on and be hopeful.

People don't understand. They only start to worry when you go missing and not returning the calls and not there anymore. That's when they start to worry. 

Check on your friends. Most of us are not okay and only saying we are while battling depression so no one worries.

Applying to job after job after job trying to make better of the life we leave but only getting shut down and no call backs and no interviews. Don't give up, it will all come together eventually you just have to hold on.

Loving someone but they treat you so horribly, telling you one thing but lying the next and you whole heartily love them and want to be with them but they only use you until you feel like you are nothing and worthless.

Trying to open up to friends and family but they don't care. They tell you it's life and get over it until one day your over life and no longer here is when they ask why didn't they talk to me or us? Why did they do it? Why did they leave us? But when you tried to talk to them they shoved you off.

Ways to help this is remove negative people in your life. The ones that are always shooting you down and not believing in you. You have to believe in yourself sometimes and give yourself the support that you need cause people out here are not your friends and only want what they can get from you and it doesn't matter how you feel or what you tell them. You have to burn a bridge and careful of the company you keep. Don't tell everyone everything cause they will use it against you.

Give yourself a mental break and take a break from everything that's troubling you and rest. Self care and love is the best of care and love. 

And if you don't feel loved. I love you.

Mentally drained, physically drained

 Ever feel like your alone? Ever feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you have to do everything since others and family are not doing what they said they would or you feel like your repeating yourself over and over trying to get help but they aren't helping you and doing things their way when your telling them what needs to be done and what is causing you stress. Yes I am currently in that state. I am mentally drained and physically drained. 

I suffer from anxiety and lots of it and it feels like the weight of everything is on me. I am trying so hard daily to keep it all together but juggling life, trying to find remote work, trying to sell my vinyl stickers and decals, trying to get YouTube up or something to support my family all while trying to juggle college and make sure things are going smoothly in the only place that was suppose to give peace but it's not. I have felt this way for the last five years and it's only getting worst. I have openly expressed myself of what could help but it's like I'm talking to a brick wall. I have wore myself down to the point I'm exhausted to the point I don't sleep at night and sleep a little during the day.

I'm the one writing all the blog posts that can't get AdSense due to one is adult content and it ruined my other blogs from getting it. I'm filling out job application for remote jobs since being an affiliate marketer isn't paying the bills. I am trying to help myself since all I have been doing is putting others first and their needs. 

I cared way to much for others when all they did was use me to the point I don't want to help anyone anymore. It's to the point my circle was small but it's even smaller now since I'm getting rid of the negativity and those that just want to take and take and take and use and use and use. I noticed a lot more positivity coming from it but I have a big heart and it hurts but I had to do what I had to to get my happiness and peace back. 

I am applying to jobs daily monthly weekly, trying to find something but its like no one is hiring and wants to hire. It is getting exhausting trying to find work especially something I can do remotely since I have kids and its not easy since most remote jobs are phone jobs. 

I also suffer from PCOS and that sucks. It causes more anxiety and depression. It causes pain and makes you feel alone. It causes hormone imbalance and can make you flip on everyone over nothing. They won't do anything but give birth control to counter act it something that can end up causing more anxiety and depression. I don't want anymore anxiety. I don't want anymore depression. I want to be at peace. I don't want to suffer anymore. 

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Blogger, Reviewer, Affiliate marketer and More

 Being an affiliate marketer has some ups but plenty of downs. People say you can make a lot doing affiliate marketing but truthfully you can in a way but it's not always. I once made 700-300 monthly selling sex toys. Giving amazing reviews from products being sent enticing the views and readers to want the toy, the way it is, what it does and how it works including how it feels. I still make a little off of it but I do not make much like I did.

I use to use the reviews to make money to support my family and now I am trying to find something else to make a little bit more income in which I started streaming again on twitch. So if you are interested my channel is lovely_grizzly. I don't really get views but I have been affiliated since 2018 and I actually quit streaming in 2019 due to internet would not allow it but now it does.

On adult blogs you cannot get AdSense at all. They do not approve it so you have to go around to companies and become an affiliate with them and try to get people to buy products and click the links that you have laying around the blog whether it is in the post or on the side bars but most do not count if the viewer does not buy something. 

Companies enjoy seeing the traffic from your content. They will try to give you a review unit and then make you basically wear out the viewers and your social media by recycling the product post and then basically try to up your commissions if they buy and then because of their sales they believe it will push more and more people in but in hind sight, they have so many bad reviews and reputation that when I brought it to the attention they just rub it off and say its just a competing company in which I understand that as a business owner but trying to use someone for clout isn't gonna help their case.

Sometimes, you can give it your all just to watch it not grow no matter how much love and water you give it, it never takes off so you have to figure out what you are going to do next while in a time crunch and not understanding why nothing is working. Sometimes it is like this trust me I worked with affiliate marketing for 5-6 years and only had a sell for one company and then have a lot for another company.

 No one will ever tell you how difficult it is to do this. I have done this from scratch many of times and I had to start over. I ended up getting rid of a lot of companies that have not done anything for me. I also cleaned the slate and did not stress over it cause it is a 50/50 chance of making it. 

Sometimes it is best to just stick with one company instead of using so many that way you can focus on and not get lost like I did trying to force and share links to try to get spotted and known and just completely trying to help others get out there and it just became so much on me.

Truthfully it does not take much to start your own business you can dropship meaning the product stays at a warehouse and you never have to touch the product at all. It cost me $20 dollars for a business license and the EIN is free. In which I did this and made close to 1000 or so until I got shut down by eBay since they were suppose to release the money but did not and pocketed it all. 

Inventory of FREE dropshippers is where I found my supplier and made some cash. I used Dream host as a webhosting site which was 13.99 a month for as many sites as I wanted. Click here to check them out they are really simple to use and use WordPress but you can convert it as a store using the themes and plug ins which is nice and the customer service is on point and always helpful.

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Lets talk about Jobs! (Work from home!)

There are so many jobs that you can get out there. There are retail jobs, fast food, caregivers, teachers, government, and many more jobs. Sometimes it is harder to find jobs that you are qualified for and then other times the jobs that basically you do not get no where, they are dead end, no raises, bosses just sit there and make you do this, that and everything else for a little pay that barely feeds your family. Then there are jobs where you are forced to get a 2nd or 3rd job to make ends meet and then your not with your family and you cannot watch them grow because you are busy and always gone trying to make ends meet. There are so much you can do from home like becoming an Amazon affiliate, Fiverr affiliate and many other stores. You could become a twitch or YouTube streamer, advertise on social media and just even having your own businesses create your own site for at least around 30 bucks for your own domain and your own site but if you don't wanna go through the hassle then use eBay or Shopify(eBay for everything you sale has a fee that they take out, Shopify 30 buck a month ain't bad.) If you do crafts great create yourself an Etsy store and sell them on there or eBay or even Facebook. If your good with writing, creating logos, fixing photos and or just techy use Fiverr or any other freelancing service. Ask people if they need help and see if they will pay you to help them if its nothing but a couple dollars. It all equals up. The best part is you work only when you want to work!

Become an affiliate on just about any store site by scrolling down and clicking affiliate! Create your account for free and of course it will ask your address, email, name, if your a business or individual and phone number along with country. It is all free to promote their ads. Promote them on blogs, social media, just about anywhere but read their terms of services along with the place your posting them because some places are not allowed!
Click here for Information about affiliate program, what it is and what it's about

http://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=24049&brand=fiverrcpa (Free to join!)

https://affiliate-program.amazon.com/ (Free to join!)

https://fiverraffiliates.com/ (Free to join!)

https://www.ebay.com (Free to join!)

https://www.shopify.com (Free to join just have to pay 30 bucks a month for your shop!)

etsy.com (Free to join!)

https://www.twitch.tv - Gaming Streams, Live streams, In real life, NO NUDITY! (Read terms of service!) (Free to join!)

  Technology Used by Successful Businesses - it is free and its nothing but advertising ads!