Postpartum Depression

This sucks. You break down over everything, nothing is normal, it all is flying by me. I can't hold on I can't control anything its all just passing my by. I wanna break down but I can't fully do that, I feel like everything is my fault.. like I'm to blame... I'm broken.. I'm crumbling...

Drowning in my tears

I'm drowning in my tears
I've cried so much I can not see
it all hurts
everything hurts
it feels broken
I can't put it back
together it keeps
cracking, falling, breaking
I can't reach
its to far to grab
its falling and falling
I'm falling and falling
down... more and more
everything is spinning
spinning out of control
nothing to hold on to
nothing to grab
it's all fading away
like there is nothing
left... left of me
I am broken in to pieces
crying the last of my tears
trying to put it all together...
me all together....

Ripping on the inside

My heart feels like its been ripped out of my chest

the pain throbs and throbs and throbs 

the tears are rolling down my face 

as there is a frog in my throat 

I am so confused of what to do 

where to go

I am so confused 

everything feels so 

shattered so broken

I am hurting on the inside 

I am hurting on the out 

this is so unreal 

this depression 

its got a hold of me 

all I can do is cry 

I stress, I worry 

its all crashing down

all around 

I don't know what to do

As it all falls around me....

Everything is falling and breaking

I can’t catch it all nor put it back together

I’m so broken and torn, doesn’t matter how many times you put me back

together I still shatter….

I’m so emotional

But i guess this is it

Postpartum

The things they tried to warn me about

The thing that's broken me into pieces

Holding on with the little strength I have left

As I finish breaking to pieces

With my family by my side as I crumble apart

While I watch them grow i can’t give up I have to

Much to lose

Life after baby; Postpartum.

There is a lot of things that women go through after having a baby that some people do not understand.
We have a lot to go through from pain to depression to everything under they sun.

There is a lot of things that we try to cope with and hide like the fact that in postpartum depression the baby can feel like it's not yours, you may gain suicidal thoughts, everything feels like its going wrong that you are horrible and start blaming yourself for everything. There are also hidden feelings and emotions you have that you did not know you have. You can also say things you don't mean.

I just want to say, it's all going to be okay, you have came along way. You got this! you have a little one who needs you. You have a reason to keep going even if it all feels like its going to end, like the whole world is falling on your shoulders you have to push through and keep strong for your little one! It's hard trying to wake up each day and you want to give up I know. I have a newborn and a 1 year old. It's a struggle but you just have to keep moving. A support system is the best thing to have no matter who it is. Someone to talk to is really important and helps. Exercising or doing something you love helps to. I have had and still having battles and wanted to give up but I can not because I have two babies depending on me and not letting me give up. You can also go to your doctor and tell them about it and they will give you antidepressants. You can also go to a therapist, Don't worry many women go through this and some just don't feel comfortable talking about it.

There are others out there that are just like us, you are not alone please feel free to reach out to someone and talk about everything, it helps!