Life

 Everyone is going through something they don't speak about. Everyone is trying to live life the best they can either while suffering and struggling. No one really tells anyone their problems because they don't trust them. A lot of people have a lot on their mind from their needs, family needs and trying to support them and make sure they have enough. 

Trust me I am in the same boat. I have been there not knowing if Im going to have enough to pay bills and eat or to buy diapers. No one tells you or talks about how hard it is and can be. It is even harder on those who don't have a stable job. Being an affiliate marketer has it's ups and downs. Sometimes you make enough other times you don't. 

Affiliate marketing is not easy and no you can't make quick on it. I don't care what they tell you. I have over 1000 people visiting one of my blogs and it doesn't even make anything anymore. I have traffic pushing but I don't make money anymore so now I'm stuck juggling everything trying to figure it all out. Doesn't matter if you promote yourself or not people aren't gonna buy.

Not counting all the job applications I have put in just to be turned down due to I don't have any experience except affiliate marketing. 

Jobs claim they are hiring but are they really? Most jobs do not even pay enough to make a living. They pay the minimum wage of back in 2000.  

22 years later the prices have gotten higher and it cost a lot more to live. Things cost a lot more than it did causing a lot of issues. Food cost has gone up along with the price of everyday house hold items and gas. Maybe one day things will get better.

Opening up

 Opening up to let people in is never easy. People can end up using you and hurting you which makes it to where you no longer want to open up to anyone else. 

They tell you they will be there for you when you need them but then they show you time and time again that they won't and they are only going to hurt you in the long run. 

I often sit around and trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it and ways to fix it because I always feel like I am the problem but I am learning that I am not the problem. I cannot make someone understand me, I cannot make anyone be honest, I cannot make anyone do anything. They are their own person and it is on them to do right or wrong. 

I personally, am tired of opening up to people. I do not want to keep having to restart with people and explaining to them that I am tired of getting hurt, I am tired of restarting and giving my trust to them just only for them to be like the others and leave and make excuses and then just hurt me over and over. This is getting old. I am always honest to people.

 I always give them the benefit of the doubt when they don't really deserve it and because of this, I have developed trust issues over the years to where I no longer trust people and they are going to have to show me that they are different and have to earn my trust. I have been done wrong by so many different people who claimed to be friends and those that loved me to the point I no longer am friends with anyone and became antisocial. 

I never really talked to anyone anyways due to my severe anxiety because, I feel that they will judge me and other things. I also have other mental issues and also self diagnosed myself with autism so basically, I got use to not talking to anyone really because it made me anxious and nervous. 

I rather be alone and not open up to anyone anymore because when I did and let them get to know me and actually felt comfortable, they tend to not be able to handle it and they close the box. Because of who I am, the ended up leaving me just like everyone else and never really got to even know me or why I am the way I am. They never really stayed around to understand why I am built the way I am and how I built myself up to not get hurt anymore. 

Not everyone is suppose to be around you, not everyone is suppose to be in your life. I want to see people eat, just not at my table. 

Remember everyone can leave if they want to so be careful who you let in and open up to.

The coldest water review

The coldest water is more than just a water bottle! It keeps your water and or drinks cold for 36+ hours! It is amazing and works great. I love how the coldest water bottle has more than one color and more than one size like the gallon! There is also one for kids!

This makes sure you are getting your cold H2O whenever it is super hot outside. This company also has multiple other items and products that can help you from ice packs that you can wear, water bottles, and plenty of accessories for you to use that are helpful around the house or outside!

This water bottle and ice packs are great for sports and or any outside activities. Especially for summer since it is super hot and the sun can cause you to dehydrate quickly.

This water bottle is also perfect for when your having sex and needing to re-hydrate or needing ice. You do not have to stop what your doing for ice you can just reach over for it and either stick it against them or open it up. This bottle is great for keeping it cold! 

Get the ice pack! Stimulate your spouse by sticking it to them and turning them on! There is so much you could use this and may different ways you could do it. Just check it out. 

GET YOUR COLDEST WATER PRODUCTS HERE

Period depression

  No one talks about period depression. No one tells you how bad it is and how bad it can get. 

No one talks about the worthless feeling you have and the hopeless feelings that comes with it.

 No one talks about the pain nor how bad a person can suffer in silence and pretend that everything is okay when it's not. 

Nothing feels okay. Sleeping during the day and staying awake all night. The worrying, the stress, panic attacks the anexity.

 The pressure of having to hide how you feel and having to keep it together. No one talks about this.

 No one talks about the mental health you struggle with while trying to live. While trying to keep it all together. 

It all hits the worst at night while your body is trying to relax. 

A lot of people suffers from this and so much more. I am included on this. 

It's okay not to be okay... We will get through this. 

Narcissist Toxic Love

 Sometimes it is best to let a person go to regain yourself. To heal yourself from all the trauma that they caused and everything that you have been going through. 

They showed you how they are, they showed their motives, who they are, what they do. They showed how they hurt you and can flip the script to become the victim and blame you for everything and came up with excuses and reasons and lies trying to trap you and control you. 

They even brought up being suicidal and going to end it multiple times if you leave. They even leave and tell you they didn't leave but you know they did. They lie about everything and could even be cheating on you and you would never know.

 This is guilt tripping trying to keep you in a place where you don't want to be but you stay because you are scared. Don't be scared. Leave them because it is not worth it. 

This type of relationship and people are toxic. They depend on you and make you miserable trying to stay and keep them happy all while they are trying to control, manipulate and use you. They don't care as long as you keep giving.

 They will also throw up they love you, they care about you in reality they don't care about you only what you can do for them. 

They will also say you don't care and love them once you catch on and realize how they are doing you. This is what narcissist behavior is. This is abuse to you, your love and time. Don't think you can fix them because you cannot. They will only hurt you and tear you down and rebuild you to the way they want you to be. 

And if you think your stupid for loving a person like this. You are not. You are brave for trying but it's time for you to heal and grow. 

Give yourself time, care, and love and heal yourself from it all. Your going to be working on soul work that comes from the core but to do this you have to get rid of the negative people and things in life and surround yourself with positive. 

People will only do what you allow so be careful.

Meditation and healing to all. 

 

What ever you do

 Whatever you do in life you have to be passionate about. You have to be confident in it. Do something that you love to do. You cannot do it for money or the fame behind it you just have to do it because you love it. Money will eventually start coming in. Do not give up and do not get discourage. Hard work pays off in the long run and it never goes unnoticed. Everyone just have a certain time to bloom and blossom so it can take a while. 

Sometimes life will not give you everything you want it will only give you what you need. 

Problems with PCOS

 With PCOS they do not tell you how bad it is. It can make your days hard. They do not tell you you will be in pain most of the days until the cyst pops and then you will be in more pain for a few more days. They do not tell you that anything can aggravate it, your moods will be at full force swinging and your anxiety will be at an all time high. They do not tell you that it can cause seizures that I have been experiencing due to hormone changes and nothing nothing can really help with the hot flashes. It is almost like menopause. 

You will gain a lot of weight but then they expect you to some how loose it when you don't even know how you got it. They will try to push you on birth control thinking that is going to help it but you are just going to gain more weight and make them money off of it every time you go get the refills. 

They do not tell you the ups and downs about it. They don't really tell you anything about it. They say its where your eggs fail to release and it causes build up in fluids. They say you can notice it when you miss a period well, I missed 3 years worth and took multiple pregnancy tests when my spouse has a vasectomy trying to make sure we are in the clear.

 I even went to the hospital multiple times, primary multiple times and even got a second opinion and some how everyone missed it they all were thinking I am pregnant. I even went to my OBGYN the first time and she didn't do anything nor checked me. She won't even do a scan but says oh it's not good it can become cancer if you don't have a period for so long even though I went to her and others multiple times trying to get help.

I threw up all of my supper last night which was a salad because it was light. They don't tell you that it will happen. They won't tell you had bad it will hurt and how when you move when its hurting it feels like you are ripping and its folding down feeling like its going to fall out. When I first went for this feeling they found my cyst but when I went for it again they did another scan on it and it gotten bigger.

I know, I know peoples bodies are different and different things will happen but its just weird how it happens. 

 Did you know the cyst will make you look pregnant? That is when they decide to go in and take it out they won't do anything for it when its there but they wait until it gets hazardous and can cause harm. 

They tell you to just take over the counter pain meds when it happens and rest. 

Get your hormones back balanced with this Fenugreek