I often sit around and trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it and ways to fix it because I always feel like I am the problem but I am learning that I am not the problem. I cannot make someone understand me, I cannot make anyone be honest, I cannot make anyone do anything. They are their own person and it is on them to do right or wrong.
I personally, am tired of opening up to people. I do not want to keep having to restart with people and explaining to them that I am tired of getting hurt, I am tired of restarting and giving my trust to them just only for them to be like the others and leave and make excuses and then just hurt me over and over. This is getting old. I am always honest to people.
I always give them the benefit of the doubt when they don't really deserve it and because of this, I have developed trust issues over the years to where I no longer trust people and they are going to have to show me that they are different and have to earn my trust. I have been done wrong by so many different people who claimed to be friends and those that loved me to the point I no longer am friends with anyone and became antisocial.
I never really talked to anyone anyways due to my severe anxiety because, I feel that they will judge me and other things. I also have other mental issues and also self diagnosed myself with autism so basically, I got use to not talking to anyone really because it made me anxious and nervous.
I rather be alone and not open up to anyone anymore because when I did and let them get to know me and actually felt comfortable, they tend to not be able to handle it and they close the box. Because of who I am, the ended up leaving me just like everyone else and never really got to even know me or why I am the way I am. They never really stayed around to understand why I am built the way I am and how I built myself up to not get hurt anymore.
Not everyone is suppose to be around you, not everyone is suppose to be in your life. I want to see people eat, just not at my table.
Remember everyone can leave if they want to so be careful who you let in and open up to.
