Healing from years of trauma

I am a mother and a wife who carries a lot of trauma from the way people have treated me. I’ve always been the kind of person who would give the shirt off my back, who kept giving chance after chance, even when someone showed me their true colors. No matter how many times I was hurt, I still tried to be there for people who didn’t deserve my time or my energy.

Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and depression. I lived in constant fear, always wondering if I had done something wrong or why am I being targeted the way that I am. I became a people pleaser, bending over backwards just to avoid conflict or to make others like me. Over time, I realized that living like that was destroying me. I had to learn to stop pleasing everyone else and start living for myself — because this is my life, and my responsibility is to my own well‑being and to my family.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that the fewer people you allow into your life, the happier you become. And that includes family and friends. Being related to someone doesn’t automatically mean they are good for you. Some people bring jealousy, envy, manipulation, and chaos. Some are narcissistic and never give you peace or rest. They stir up problems, drain your spirit, and then They will cause a lot of things to happen and then somehow make you feel like you’re the problem. They twist situations, play the victim, and drain you until you barely recognize yourself. For a long time, I let that break me down. I let their behavior convince me that I wasn’t enough, that I had to work harder, give more, tolerate more, just to keep the peace.

But I’ve grown and I cam currently healing from everything. I’ve learned that protecting my peace is not selfish — it’s necessary. I’ve learned that boundaries are not walls; they are shields. And I’ve learned that walking away from people who hurt me is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s healing. It’s choosing myself for the first time in a long time.

Now, I’m focusing on my own happiness, my own mental health, and the family that truly loves me. I’m learning to trust myself again, to listen to my intuition, and to stop apologizing for choosing peace over chaos. I’m finally understanding that I deserve calm, I deserve respect, and I deserve a life that doesn’t feel like a constant battle.

I’m still healing, but I’m no longer breaking myself to keep others comfortable. I’m becoming the version of myself that I should’ve been allowed to be all along — stronger, wiser, and finally free.

The Hallow Veil: Book one! Available in ebook and paperback and hardbook

 I wrote a new book and it is out now! It is called The Hallow Veil! Book two is coming soon! 

There are stories that entertain. And then there are stories that linger — curling around your thoughts like mist, long after the final page. The Hallow Veil lives in that second category.

This is not a tale of monsters in the dark. It’s about the veil itself: the thin membrane between what’s real and what we almost believe. It explores themes of identity, transformation, and perception through a world that feels both hauntingly familiar and chillingly unreal. This book is a fantasy book about a town where people goes missing and no one knows. 

In crafting The Hallow Veil, I wanted readers to feel disoriented — in the best way. A place where mirrors resist reflection, where memory warps, and where silence carries weight. It’s a surreal dive into what it means to be seen… and what’s left behind when you aren’t.

Step into the shadows - buy the book here! 

https://amzn.to/412VvtI

Buy the hardback book here on Lulu 

Your support means everything — each purchase helps me continue crafting stories steeped in mystery, poetic horror, and fractured reality. If the book speaks to you, pass it along to someone who walks the line between the strange and the sacred.

Therapy

 Therapy for some are many different things. Therapy allows you to open up and talk about your feelings pretty much anyway you can, want to or feel. 

My therapy is blogging and writing about how I feel, things bothering me and what is on my mind. 

Another therapy for me is anything that heals my inner child and allows me to grow and be better then my parents were. 

I told them growing up that I need therapy, I have a lack of expressing how I feel and it was just blown off. They said I did not need therapy so from there, I decide to bottle up every little bit of emotion that I had and I ended up having this rage and anger and it was like they never cared nor listened to what I needed or want but instead they favored my brother and gave him everything and anything he wanted and I ended up having to cope on my own and figure out how to juggle and manage everything. 

I also enjoy photography but due to having to sale my gear to help fund the house we live in, I never got enough funds or gotten around to buying a new kit and so now I am trying to find other way to cope. 

No longer happy...

 I am no longer happy in my life. I am no longer happy nor excited with the things that use to excite me and make me happy.

I cannot even fake it like I am anymore. I'm so exhausted and stressed that I'm tired. I have been looking for jobs trying to do everything I can from blogging, affiliate marketing and so much more.

 I exhausted myself helping others that I no longer want to help anyone. I no longer sleep at night because all the anxiety that I feel happens the most when I try to lay down and rest. The thoughts are horrible, the panic attacks suck and the seizures are the worst.

I graduated college, a course that I pushed myself though to get a certificate that I have to take a big test for but if I complete the degree program I won't so I decided to go back to get the Bachelor degree hoping something comes from it.

I watch my dreams fall apart and never come true really. I thought I would own a home, have some land and possibly have a little farm but no it hasn't happened yet. I also wanted to travel around and visit places but no, that doesn't look like it is ever gonna happen.

We are in a three bedroom rental and there are 6 of us living in it. I'm not complaining about it as long as we have a roof over our head but I was promised we would move and never did. 

I'm just tired of the false promises that you gave me. I'm tired of you saying your going to do something and you don't at all. I'm tired of the back and forth. I'm tired of it all. 

I'm tired of the back and forth me explaining everything how I feel, what I feel and nothing gets done about it. I am tired of the yelling, I am tired of the arguments. I am tired of it all.. My mental health is no longer worth putting myself though this. 

Some how, I will change this. Some how I will change it all and become better and do better.