Something I would of told me younger self

The things that I would tell my younger self if I could is that those you call your friends are really not your friends. They were only using you to get things because they wanted to and you where an easy target and really to nice and always wanted to help them. 

Be careful who you trust because not everyone should be trusted. Those who you hung out with were never your friend, and you should not trust them. Friends are the kind of people you can call on when you need help, those were not. 

Do not focus on things because stress is real and it does not matter. Take things one day at a time. 

Life is never easy, it is filled with ups and downs and you won't figure it all out but you have to figure out things on the way. 

Not everyone is going to be real and tell you the truth. 

People are going to be mean and judge you, just ignore them because karma will get to them.

Do not brag about anything you have because it can be gone. 

Don't tell anyone anything because it is not their business. 

If you make it be silent about it, things can happen.

People do not want to see you do well and they will do all kinds of things to ruin you.

Watch who you give your love to, you may end up regretting them. 

Affiliate marketing jobs are not what they use to be, make plans and have back up so you won't be doing what you are doing now and trying to make it and push to make money. 

No one really trusts anyone so, be cautious, and don't get upset or mad when your stores and stuff start decreasing and you stop making money. 

Blogging is okay, you just won't get adsense on it. 

You can keep writing from the heart but people will not care about you.

You can keep helping people but don't expect anything from them.

Don't tread life lightly because things are not always what they seem and where you are is not permanent. You can control your life and how it goes. 

Life of fear.. A BITTER TRAGEDY

Abuse,  pain, blame, force, trauma, hurt, tears, suffering, arguing, silent cries, whispers, fake smiles, cracked faces, broken. It's my fault, I'm sorry,  I love yous, trust, misery, bruises, bleeding, broken bones, crushed, depression, anxiety, fear, sleepless nights, ptsd(doesn't have to be military related.) Suicidal; thoughts and tendencies. Emptiness, emotions, alone, emo, schizo, Alcohol, Unloved, Just here, suffer, name calling, torn, love..., no love, regrets, truth, excuses, sorrow, endless years, finding yourself, defeated, nothing to no one, lonely, no support, friendless, no family, DEATH

WHORE, SLUT, BITCH, WORTHLESS, WHALE, FAT, CARELESS, YOU DON'T CARE, STUPID, RETARD, YOU SHOULD DIE, GO KILL YOURSELF, NO ONE CARE FOR YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, YOU WILL NEVER BE NOTHING, YOUR NOTHING TO ME, YOU HURT ME, ~ MOST OF WHAT IVE BEEN TOLD ALL MY LIFE. 

Love is a 4 letter word that means nothing if its not shown.

Trust is a 5 letter word that doesn't mean anything if its broken.

Sorry is just a 5 letter word that gets thrown around when something happens and means nothing if its repeated over and over again.

Promises, a 8 letter word that is always broken by doing the opposite and repeating something you said you wouldn't do.

Apologies mean nothing if your just going to do the same thing over and over and over again day after day or a month after months.

Blame, something you go through when they don't want to be responsible for their own actions, so it takes off of them and put more on you.

Depression, something you feel going through this. Something that causes you to break and want to be alone because of the person you loved and who you thought love you has done all this to you. It also comes from blaming yourself for someone else's mistakes and can come from many other things.

Fear something you live in when promises are broken and i love yous turn to blaming you for something you didn't do. Something all these words make you feel after it all happened.

Admitting to something you have done is never so easy but telling the truth is worth way more than you would know. Telling lies can cause lots of fights and tension no matter what it is. 

 Everyone goes through this it does not have to be women, it's men and kids who also go through this. Some of them even blame themselves for someone else problem but it's not their fault.

Lies, things that they feed you when they are promising you something... Something that you believe for so long and that they tell you to get you off their case, backs and out their faces...Lies can never be actually fixed... Once a liar always a liar...

Bleeding all over and crushed on the inside, spitting in the face of someone you love, calling them a bitch and a whore, stupid, worthless,accusing them of things they have not done... blaming you for something you cannot control being pushed, shoved, beaten, abused, mentally, physically broken, crushed, and being told this will never happen, this is not me but it is, it is you, this is not love and it's best if you leave this situation it can get worse to the point you don't love them you just are scared to leave. 

No one deserves this! No one deserves to be blamed for someone else's problems, mistakes or anything that is going on. It takes a lot to keep trying to push through but sometimes it's best to escape no matter how much you love the person or no matter how much they say they love you and it will never happen again. 

These are what people go through. People suffering due to other people's actions and people don't realize it. They blame you for someone else's or their action because they don't wanna blame them or themselves. They don't realized that the person they blame hurts because of it. They don't understand what it does to or how it effects a person and they let the other person get away with it.
Karma is a bitch and what goes around comes around. You reap what you sow.

Bruises that will never heal...

I'm broken and torn, the promises we once had made are somewhat broken..
The trust is here...
The repeat of the same questions makes me question if you trust me.. The way you make me feel when your depression hits makes me feel low like I'm worthless and nobody
My depression hits and I hardly shown it till now
The arguments over nothing except what you told me you'd do is making me wonder.
I love you
The pain from my surgery is still here I can barely move and eat
My depression is hitting worst than ever
My bruises are still sore the pain I feel takes over me
Sometimes I don't wanna be held I just wanna be here... I wanna cry but I'm trying to be strong.
I love you so much that I don't wanna lose you over anything. I'm trying to cope but it's hard. I'm trying to smile but it hurts everything hurts.

I ain’t gonna hurt you...

Those are the first words you hear.. time and time again.. when your hurt you want to believe it's true.. after they hurt you it become harder to believe when those words are told.. It takes lots of trust to believe it.. but after being hurt the first time it's hard to, doesn’t matter who the person is it still feels like they are going to hurt you… guess what at times. No matter how strong you make yourself they will hurt you someway and break you down till the point you feel like nothing and worthless. After being hurt time after time before trust is hard to come by.. I ain’t gonna hurt you just become words… Words are not actions but words can hurt just like actions… Being hurt can bring you down mentally and emotionally and physically to the point it’s pointless of believing and trying to keep trust while it's pointless of keep trying when you feel worthless and like your nothing so you try to put yourself together and figure out where you went wrong  but you tear youself down again and then the words you hea are  but I ain't gonna hurt you...