Anxiety

 Something they do not tell you about anxiety is that it gets worst and it doesn't matter what you do. Anxiety can cause so much including overthinking all the time and that can put stress on your body even if you don't realize it. 

If you hear a certain thing, see certain things, think certain things it can destress you and trigger you so bad to the point you just start breathing heavily and you won't be able to calm it. It gives chest pains and so much more. It can become crippling if you are not careful.

It can keep you awake a night worrying and over thinking things. You will be insomniac and then sleep during the day most of the day and if there's a sudden noise, it can cause your heart to drop and feel like it's falling sending you into panicking. Trust me I was there also and some nights I still am having this. 

This is also coming from PCOS and trauma that I have had through out my life. I sometimes have to lay in the dark, listen to rain videos and ocean videos on youtube to allow myself to sleep and try to get as comfortable as possible because I can and will start panicking at night for no reason at all its just my mind getting worked up over basically nothing and causes me to over think breathe heavy and just start hyperventilating. 

The best thing for you to do is to basically avoid anything that triggers you, I mean at sometime or another you are going to end up going into crowds, and doing things that bothers you but do it when you are ready and when you are at ease. Don't rush and don't panic through it just breathe through it and have those around you that you trust and knows you. 

Do things that you enjoy and if you want to try something new go a little at a time and not force completely into it since your body will start sending languages that it is un-comfy and that will cause a lot of distress. 

But do things you like and if that is playing video games, drawing, reading, visiting nature is a good idea with anxiety and grounding yourself is also a good thing it helps you with the universe. If you don't know how to ground yourself, just go outside barefoot and walk in the dirt and if you can sit on the grass with your feet in the dirt and meditate, go outside talk to the plants, and the trees and just basically learn yourself.  

Life of fear.. A BITTER TRAGEDY

Abuse,  pain, blame, force, trauma, hurt, tears, suffering, arguing, silent cries, whispers, fake smiles, cracked faces, broken. It's my fault, I'm sorry,  I love yous, trust, misery, bruises, bleeding, broken bones, crushed, depression, anxiety, fear, sleepless nights, ptsd(doesn't have to be military related.) Suicidal; thoughts and tendencies. Emptiness, emotions, alone, emo, schizo, Alcohol, Unloved, Just here, suffer, name calling, torn, love..., no love, regrets, truth, excuses, sorrow, endless years, finding yourself, defeated, nothing to no one, lonely, no support, friendless, no family, DEATH

WHORE, SLUT, BITCH, WORTHLESS, WHALE, FAT, CARELESS, YOU DON'T CARE, STUPID, RETARD, YOU SHOULD DIE, GO KILL YOURSELF, NO ONE CARE FOR YOU, I DON'T LOVE YOU, YOU WILL NEVER BE NOTHING, YOUR NOTHING TO ME, YOU HURT ME, ~ MOST OF WHAT IVE BEEN TOLD ALL MY LIFE. 

Love is a 4 letter word that means nothing if its not shown.

Trust is a 5 letter word that doesn't mean anything if its broken.

Sorry is just a 5 letter word that gets thrown around when something happens and means nothing if its repeated over and over again.

Promises, a 8 letter word that is always broken by doing the opposite and repeating something you said you wouldn't do.

Apologies mean nothing if your just going to do the same thing over and over and over again day after day or a month after months.

Blame, something you go through when they don't want to be responsible for their own actions, so it takes off of them and put more on you.

Depression, something you feel going through this. Something that causes you to break and want to be alone because of the person you loved and who you thought love you has done all this to you. It also comes from blaming yourself for someone else's mistakes and can come from many other things.

Fear something you live in when promises are broken and i love yous turn to blaming you for something you didn't do. Something all these words make you feel after it all happened.

Admitting to something you have done is never so easy but telling the truth is worth way more than you would know. Telling lies can cause lots of fights and tension no matter what it is. 

 Everyone goes through this it does not have to be women, it's men and kids who also go through this. Some of them even blame themselves for someone else problem but it's not their fault.

Lies, things that they feed you when they are promising you something... Something that you believe for so long and that they tell you to get you off their case, backs and out their faces...Lies can never be actually fixed... Once a liar always a liar...

Bleeding all over and crushed on the inside, spitting in the face of someone you love, calling them a bitch and a whore, stupid, worthless,accusing them of things they have not done... blaming you for something you cannot control being pushed, shoved, beaten, abused, mentally, physically broken, crushed, and being told this will never happen, this is not me but it is, it is you, this is not love and it's best if you leave this situation it can get worse to the point you don't love them you just are scared to leave. 

No one deserves this! No one deserves to be blamed for someone else's problems, mistakes or anything that is going on. It takes a lot to keep trying to push through but sometimes it's best to escape no matter how much you love the person or no matter how much they say they love you and it will never happen again. 

These are what people go through. People suffering due to other people's actions and people don't realize it. They blame you for someone else's or their action because they don't wanna blame them or themselves. They don't realized that the person they blame hurts because of it. They don't understand what it does to or how it effects a person and they let the other person get away with it.
Karma is a bitch and what goes around comes around. You reap what you sow.