Click worker

If anyone is looking for a little bit of extra cash, this will help. It may be micro jobs but it all ads up and sometimes there are high paying $15–$20 ones. I got paid mine and I'm fixing to get paid again next month. There are a lot of tasks available and all are simple and easy. I am going to be paid 54.82 within the next couple days. Each assignment has payout dates for 29-60 days so pay out will vary, if you do not have 5.00 available to cash out then it will just sit there until 5.00 is available. You will not lose what you have earned. It will also tell you when you completed the assignment and what day your money will be released for it. 

They also are partnered with UHRS which gives you so much more but the only thing you have to do is training for them to be sure you can do them and they are done correctly. With the UHRS you are going to have to make an email using clickworker just for it. 

The Inbrain surveys will pay you but the cpx research will not so be sure to do inbrain.

For payout you can either use paypal or payoneer due to clickworker is located in Germany. Payoneer is great for when  you are working for international companies all you do is connect your payoneer to it and it is done. Get payoneer here!  Read more about payoneer here

I've found Clickworker. It's an app where you earn money on the side with surveys, app tests, taking pics or short videos, etc. I think it´s something you'd be into as well. Check it out. Registration is free.

Click here to join today!

Blogs and affiliate marketing

 Blogs do not really make money like people say they can. Yes you can get adsense on blogs as long as they follow the guidelines and TOS but unfortunately none of my blogs does due to one of my blogs are adult content and reviews adult novelties all while they have advertisement for alcohol on adsense. 

Since I could not have adsense to monetize my blogs I have affiliate marketing links and ads to at least try to make some kind of revenue in which that doesn't really make anything either. 

When starting off and needing money to the point you are trying to find anything that will make you something please do not get your hopes up with blogging because I'm here to tell you I have been here since 2016 and have not really made anything.

 I made a few sales with the affiliate marketing links here and there but not enough to get a payout which sucks. 

Another thing I will say is don't get tangled up in affiliate marketing. It is not worth it. You will spend your time giving them free advertisement while you make nothing and it does not matter the company nor what they say you can make because you won't make it and I rather tell you now than you get your feelings hurt thinking it will bring in quick cash.

Also third party affiliate sites are not worth your time. If you still do decide to affiliate marketing then go to their websites and sign up as an affiliate from there. 

People won't click on off the wall tracking links because they don't know what they are unless they have the company and site name in the link.

It would be nice

It would be nice to get gifts like others in relationships. It would be nice to get flowers oh just because you thought of me. I don't know what that feels like. I don't even know what getting gifts feel like anymore. My birthdays have passed, anniversaries have passed, Christmas has passed and is coming again and I by my own gifts... I don't get anything from the thought that counts, it is me buying my own. 

I got yelled at and screamed at within the 1st 3 years of us being together and now it has been 7 things are okay but not the greatest. 

I no longer expect anything because the years that you gave me were not the greatest but it would be nice. 

I have been trying to find a job to support the family because every time I ask you to do it, you as what kind and then don't. Everything I ask you to do you don't and I am tired of it. I am so exhausted that I am no longer doing this anymore. It is no longer fun but more of a chore. I am not happy with this and I am tired of running myself into the ground. 

This is not how it suppose to be and I will no longer continue to live like this, I am not your captive. So, I am letting you go.

Christmas is coming

 Sometimes during the Christmas month, we are not sure what to get our significant other or spouse. We also often times are not sure what to get for family and honestly that is okay. 

I also know this is the time people are alone the most and don't celebrate it for reasons, so if you know someone who is like this, just go spend time with them and hang out. Don't let them be alone. Being alone for the holidays sucks and no one deserves to be alone. 

 This season is all about the thought that counts and anyone would be glad to receive anything that you get them. The season is also about giving and spend with one another and cherishing. 

I know sometimes people are not the best and family tend to be hateful or mean but one day they will regret it all and try to come back and if they do, let them. 

Try to see through it all and spend time with them and if you feel you cannot then don't. No reason to put yourself through this. I have a good heart so I always believe in second chances but sometimes it is best to just leave it alone rather than to be hurt. Trust me, I know. 

One day the people who done wrong will regret it all as they sit there and look back on it trying to figure out why no one visits them and why they ended up alone when it is there fault. 

But, I wish you all a Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Merry Xmas, Happy new years and I love you all! 

Abandonment feeling by family

The abandoned feeling comes from many different ways and family is included. It is like my mother only cares about my little brothers accomplishments. 

I graduated college and got my certificate she only tells me she's proud of me but my brother graduates and she's posting it all over Facebook. I just don't get it. 

They never come to see me, it is always me to go see them. They never ask me how I am, they don't even talk to me unless it's someone dies. They don't come see their grandkids it's me always taking them to see them. 

It's like I don't even matter to them. They don't care about me until something major happens to me and then they probably won't care then. 

It's the alone feeling I get the feeling of abandonment. The feeling of none of my accomplishments matter to them. 

Most days I feel like I am dying and I never even bother telling them. No point in it. Every time I come around it's like job and work and everyone else tells things that they are doing but no one cares about me it feels like and it sucks. They act like I haven't been looking for work or jobs but with my health no one will hire me.

They were right, people pick and choose who there favorites are, I guess that is the reason I'm the black sheep of the family.

 When I get my degree, I'm not even going to bother telling them. When I buy my first home, I'm not even gonna bother telling them, no point in it. 

They rather hang out with my old friend from high school and her parents instead of me so be it.

I didn't realize that when I grew up, I would be alone... 

We would get made fun of and threatened if we did wrong, we got made fun of from our weight in which it isn't our fault. Growing up wasn't the greatest, I would stick to myself and not bother, pretend I wasn't there stayed in my room cause I didn't feel like I was welcomed...

They would never take us to the beach, they would always drop us off at our aunts so they could go to the beach with my fathers parents every year for my parents anniversary but claim they would take us. My bother went to the beaches and other trips with his friends.

 I went to the beach back in like 2017 for the first time before I got married. They never took us anywhere really. We never went to the zoo, never went to Carowinds or an amusement park, it was we never really went anywhere and it sucks, we never spent time with them at all. The first time ever I went to Carowinds was on a school field trip in middle school and that was it. 

I don't have any trips with family to remember, I don't have time with family to cherish all I have is sadness and misery due to they never really done anything with us.

 It is like I missed out while others were able to go out and have fun and go to different places and now, that I am older, I want to take my kids out and I want to show them things I never got to do. 

So I am becoming the person that I needed when I was growing up. 

Also want you to know, that abandonment feeling will never go away. The feeling of being alone will never go away. Does not matter if you're married, have friends, or have a partner, you will just have to cope with it and find away because no matter how many people there are around you, you will always feel alone. 

You are never alone with me. I love you! 

https://ko-fi.com/post/Abandonment-feeling-by-family-N4N2H4MWE

LET GO! SOMETIMES IT'S BEST!

 Sometimes, it is best to let go of those you love but you can tell that they don't love you by the way they act and treating you.

They act like you are always going to be there, call you names, treat you horribly, say things you want to hear but none of it is true all while treating your like you barely exist and or a second opinion. 

They believe they can treat you any kind of way and manipulate you until you finally have had enough and leave. That is where the shocker becomes to them, they think you would never leave and you believe everything that they say.  They will make it seem like you are the bad guy and try everything to make you feel like you did something and make you feel worthless when in actuality you are not worthless and you have done nothing wrong. 

It is all them trying to manipulate you into thinking this and they will end up making it seem like no one wants you and try to keep you away from your friends and family but this is not true it is a ploy so they can keep you to themselves without having eyes and having those that care about you tell you what they are doing and try to intervene in the "relationship" in anyway. 

A way to spot this is by the way they sound and the tone that they use when you are going out with friends and family and or them getting mad and jealous over you when you decide to do something for yourself. 

A healthy relationship will not have the jealousy or will try to keep you to themselves, they will allow your friends and family to be around and not try to manipulate you into thinking anything bad or feeling any kind of way other than happy and loved. 

If you feel you are taking so much out of you time worried about what others are doing to the point you are "stalking" them because they deleted you or you deleted them because of the consequence of their actions and threating you horribly. 

Don't put yourself through this. It will hurt but it is best to let go and move on and start living to yourself because eventually the right person will come along and help you and love you the way you will need to be loved without hesitation and the lying and everything else the prier relationship has caused and as always talk to your partner, give boundaries and let them know everything that you been through and open up to them because sometimes that is what we need to do for those to understand us and our journey. 

Sometimes its best to let family go also, they do not see the best for you and only will make you miserable because you are doing things you want to and living your life all while they are miserable themselves.

Also, let go of the past, the past is not the present, use the past as a lesson and continue to move on. The past also does not define who you are so let it go. The past only made you stronger so do not let it hold you back. 

PCOS- Things no one tells you about

 

No one talks about how when you have PCOS you are more prone to get sick. No one talks about how it can beat you down to the point some days are harder than others and you will end up having more pain. 

No one talks about how drained you will feel due to the hormone imbalance that comes with it to the point that when you wake up, you just don't want to do anything nor feel like even being here sometimes or how worthless you can feel. You can even loose your sex drive with it.

No one talks about the sleepless nights due to insomnia, the hair loss, the weight gain, the diabetes that comes with it. It is like it is not even a concern and there is really no cure for it. It is something you are stuck with and there is no cure unless you get your hormones under control but as my doctor will say you have to loose weight but here is birth control so we can control your periods and if you did not know the side effects of birth  control, it makes you gain weight. 

 PCOS is not a joke and it is nothing to take lightly. PCOS can cause a lot of problems including pain that is not manageable but you are pushing through it and not going to get checked out because they will tell you "There is nothing we can due until it is twisted." and all they will do is tell you to take over the counter pain meds to try to manage it.

 The OBGYN will end up trying to put your on birth control whether it is IUD, pills, implant all while they to try to balance the hormones but be concerned when you are missing periods because it can end up being cancerous but they won't do anything for it but give birth control.  

PCOS, only warning sign is late periods and pains. It can also mimic pregnancy in which I had not had a period for 3 years and when I went to my OBGYN and primary care, they all said I was not pregnant, it was just stress and I gained weight and if I loose weight it would come back when in fact it did not. I don't even really eat sweets, I don't really eat fried foods, nor fatty foods so, I am unsure where this was coming from. 

One thing, about PCOS is sometimes, you will have to take period relief meds because nothing helps it and you will have to take breaks doing things. It can cause all kinds of issues throughout the body that you would never believe including dry, itchy skin, pain, headaches such as migraines, depression, anxiety, anxiousness, loss of apatite, makes you snack a lot and not be able to get full, causes fluid on your body,  bloats, swells and it will drain you. The pains you can feel from it would be sharp, stabbing, achy, burning pain and it can often times be heavy. 

 It also causes  bacterial vaginosis due to the fluids draining when the cyst pops so you can get some boric acid suppositories' that are for it and although it will burn it will help a lot.

The way that I found mine was not only were my periods were late, I was in so much pain on my left side to the point it had me doubled over and nauseous. When I went to the ER, they found it and it was like 3.9-4.5 cm and when I went back again it was at 4.9cm so it grew. I was told when it became 5.0cm is when they start to worry about twisting in which happens when it get to around 10cm so if you are having any pain please get checked out it is better safe than being sorry. 

Also PCOS can be missed diagnosed, sometimes it does not have the ring of cysts it only has one or two like mine did but my doctor still classified it due to the cyst, pain, missing period, and facial hair growth.