Self Care

You have to make yourself happy. You have to focus on yourself. You cannot make everyone happy it will end up causing you your peace and hurting you, taking your joy and just so much more things you do not deserve. 

You have to focus on you and yourself and not worry about things on the outside. People will come and go and many will use you to get what they want and need and then disappear. 

You are not a door mat so do not let them use you as one. You have feelings also and if they do not consider you and how you feel then they are not for you. A person that is for you will care for your well being and not just themselves.

Focus on your mental health and be sure you are okay. Take care of yourself and be sure that you are doing the things that you want to do, things that will make you happy and not wear yourself down trying to please everyone else. You cannot please everyone so please yourself. 

Heal yourself from everyone and things that broke you or you will end up breaking others around you and be sure that you love yourself, give yourself the time to heal and fix yourself before finding someone to love, this will help you not mess up but you can always heal with others if need be as long as you find someone who understands you and is willing to help you. 

Healing yourself before jumping into another relationship will allow you to get rid of the excess baggage and will allow you to start over with the person but if you do not feel ready, do not jump and just wait until you are ready. Sometimes being alone is best. 

It is not selfish to take care of yourself and say no to people, it is all about you and what you want not them. 

Same routines

 As a person who likes doing the same routines, certain routines get old. Such as begging for a person to do right, arguing and fighting with a person that supposedly loves you everyday and begging them to see what they are doing to you and trying to show them what they are doing to others and how what they are saying is not right or sound right because the part that they are saying basically is basically the opposite of  what they are saying.

It gets to a point you have to withdraw yourself, your love and care to basically save yourself from spiraling anymore further down. Loving a person takes a lot of work if they are not loving themselves. It takes a lot of work even more to lie about loving a person and or subjects around a person. 

Say a person claims that they don't talk to people because they are antisocial but then come up to say they talk to people randomly then to come up and say they do not talk to the person they claim and then lie and say oh yeah we talk so if you are lying about that then what else are you lying about. 

Trying to search through everything that was told and go through every part and think about it while watching how a person moves it gets old. You start to see a lot of holes in every story and everything that does not make sense. 

You can basically see where the story was either used on other to manipulate them or basically where it was fabricated again and again to basically make it work on others to get them to feel sorry for them or to make you want to stick with them and care because that is what they want you to believe. They will blame whoever including you for things that you did not due and then try to use it as leverage to win you and make you stay and do what they want you to do. 

They will become the victim and play victim while victim blaming you and make everything some how your fault. Do not fall for this it will become catastrophe and you cannot fix this. It only gets worst and you will end up getting hurt in the process and its not worth it.

Once you can see how the person is moving and repeating it gets old and you end up wanting something  new. Trust me, loving a toxic person and begging them to be a decent human and love you the way you need to be loved gets old, hell begging a person in general gets old. 

You end up cutting them off eventually and then you feel bad or they sweet talk you into a place that you don't want to be in again and again because the way they word their words and then everything falls apart as you try to fix it and then you end up getting hurt and shying away from them more and more until you get the courage to just up and leave because you realize its not what you want anymore and they are not the one you want to be with because of all the times they showed you what they are doing.

 They don't love you they are only using you.

It is time for something new and a new journey at that one.

Are you in a Toxic relationship?

 They only call you toxic when you find out the truth that they were hiding and lying about. When you have that gut feeling that something isn't right and they keep trying to tell you that it's not what it seems, you are overthinking, your insecure that it's all on you because you have trust issues from your past and it's causing you not to trust. 

What they don't know, is that the lies they fed you and made you try to believe is what your exes have pulled and you became wise from it. You observe everything around you and take notes of how they are doing and what they are doing. You start to see similarities and you realize they are doing everything your exes are doing just in a different way and pattern. 

You decide to break off but your heart hurts because you trusted them to be different. You gave them all your love, your time and care just for this to happen. 

You take a break for a while and decide to give them the benefit of the doubt thinking that it's not like that they were right that you were overthinking but then you realize it is a trap and you got tangled into their spiderweb and it is getting worst and worst nothing is going the way they say it would.

 They lied multiple times to cover up and then trying again to make you believe the lie they told that its not true that you're just making things up but this time, you seen it with your own two eyes and so you leave and never come back. 

Block their number, social media and go no contact but then there is going to be this thought of what ifs and it will make you want to reach out but DON'T DO IT! It only will set you up for trouble and to get hurt again.

Eventually the pain you feel will stop and you will find someone who is loyal and will accept everything you have been through and put you first for everything. You will find that special person to be there for you through it all and willing to go through everything with you no matter the good nor the bad they are there for it all. 

But until you find your person be sure to heal, and give yourself a lot of self love, self care and support yourself.  

Investing time

Investing time in the wrong people and the wrong things can be costly and you not even realize it. Investing time into things that don't represent you this includes the people that around you, jobs, anything that is negative can cost you. You will start to lose yourself and lose sight of the person you want to be and are trying to be, get the job or career that you are wanting in life. 

Time just like love is valuable. It is something that you cannot get back so if you waste it and a lot of it you can count it as gone. The only thing you can do is move forward and hope to not waste it again.

People enjoy wasting other's time since they have nothing better to do but time is precious. People will also use you if you show them a lot of care and love.

 Invest yourself into positive spots and only allow positivity in. Don't invest in the negative and or a place where your hated or envied then you will be wasting your time when you could of made something out of it. 

Jealous eyes and ears are the ones that will try to bring you down since they didn't get anywhere nor believe that you can do it.

Make sure you put your time into those that will put time into you and not use you. Be careful of the company you keep. They will waste your time having you think they want the same thing you do when in actuality they don't. They don't care about you they only care and what you can do for them and when you stop they will do you dirty, call you names and all kinds of stuff and then leave you standing there realizing they weren't for you. 

You can tell those that have been investing their time into themselves because they don't let anyone close to them. You can tell those that have been hurt and taken the time to heal themselves. If you cannot, they are the ones that doesn't let anyone get to close anymore and take care of themselves first before they help others. 

Most of these people that claim to be friends do not care for you. Just wait. Stop doing things for them and watch them and notice the negativity they bring around you. Listen to how they speak and gossip about you. Think about what they are saying behind your back if they are talking about others. 

Never tell anyone anything about you nor your hardship. They will use it against you in the long run and won't care.

It will be come lonely but eventually you will find those that are for you and get the things that you want. The lonely part will shape you into a better person. Always stay positive and remove yourself from the negative. Remember whatever you give, whatever you do will come back. 

Careful of the company you keep...

Sometimes you have to get out of your feelings to make decisions that are best for you. If you are in your feelings then you would be doing what your heart wants and not what is best for you. Having a big heart and wanting to help everyone can be crucial due to you personally cannot please everyone no matter how hard you try. You will end up wearing yourself down trying to be there for people who are partly or never there for you or do not even care at all. 

Some people are not your friends and will use you for things that you can do for them and not even bother helping you. I have been there, I have a heart of gold trying to help people and be there for people just because I know what it is like to not have any help and then they basically used me, manipulated me and so much more. They made it seem and feel like they are the only ones that was there for me, that no one else wanted to be there and then they turned around and left. I basically ended all contact with them and basically got rid of the toxic and worked on trying to heal myself. 

They make it so that you are only there for them and while they only want you there when they need you and then they wear you down, making it difficult to see and basically manipulating you so that you can keep doing what they want or need you to do by using any and everything they can. They will use what you have told them and basically use it against you jus to keep you there to say and say on the edge so that way they can have you all to themselves and it's just an toxic environment and it will end up causing problems. 

I was basically a listening ear, giving them tips, advice and always there when they needed a help up. I always basically put people first and always try to help them, give them love that they are needing all while they don't even bother to make sure I was okay.  I am currently working on myself and putting myself first instead of letting my heart get in the way and get broken or hurt. 

I was there through all the disrespect while being faithful and loyal and still trying to help them even through they used me as a door mat and walked over me and said hurtful things which I didn't let it get to me as much but it sure did hurt but I never showed it. 

I am doing what is best for me and not helping as many people and removing the negative people and those I outgrew out of my circle which was small to begin with and replacing them with people who are for me.

Outgrowing people is thinking differently and being on a different level and changing. You change the way you think and the way you do things while everyone around you stay the same. Once you start changing you can see how others change and see the difference. You can even talk to them about an idea and business plan and that allows you to see where they stand. Don't give up even if they tell you, "you won't make it." "It will fail." "It's not going to happen." Even if it doesn't make it and does fail at least you tried. Take that and grow from it. If you feel it isn't going the way you want it to then change it plan differently and plan accordingly.

But then again don't tell anyone your plan and never let them know your next move. They will only hate on it and try to use it for themselves. They will envy you regardless even if you make it because you are no longer there for their access for them to keep draining you and using you and keeping you where they want you. 

You can go with what your heart says but also go with what your brain says. If your heart does the thinking, it can cause so much on you to the point you won't do what is best you will end up still trying to help those and cater to those who basically will use you up and take everything from you including your energy. 

If you are tired of it, trust me I know you will eventually cause not everyone can keep dealing with it. You want to grow but it seems like you are stuck and by getting rid of the negative person in your life things around you will start changing and things will get better. Your mind set will be differently and it gets better. 

It will hurt for a little while but surrounding yourself with those who want to see you win and are there when you need them are the true meaning of friends. Those are the people you need in your life not someone who basically leeches your energy off of you to the point you are so drained you cannot do anything else and you are trying to change but can't. 

You have to cut them kinds of people off because they aren't helping you grow. They are basically making it so that you cannot grow into the person you want to be and staying around them will end up making you a cold hearted and heartless person and not want to help anyone else. So careful of the company keep since not all company is good company. 

Also if you are looking for love, the same rules apply. Don't just get with someone you have to be sure you can grow with them and they want to grow with you. Can't be in a one sided relationship expecting things to work cause it's not going to. A relationship takes two people to grow, put trust in and be able to talk to each other through it all and be there and if you are there but the other person isn't then its not a relationship.