I don't understand people

 I don't understand how people can basically pretend to be something they are not or put up a front and then days, weeks or months later their true self gets revealed showing that they are not who they said to be that they are not what they showed to be.

It takes more time and energy to lie. Then after lying you have to come up with more lying and try to remember all of the lies you told hoping not to slip up and hoping the person you lied to does not figure it out and basically stop believing you.

Not being honest with a person can bring up trust issues. Trust issues can bring up a lot more things and can end up causing trauma to the other person to the point they don't and feel as if they cannot trust anyone.

If a person is not happy in the relationship they should just leave. They shouldn't play games with the other person and just lead them on. They should just go cause once a person finds out it's over anyways. But sometimes people are to busy doing on their own accord. They see the good, love and care in the person and they just want to tag them along and keep them to themselves while they are out here cheating and not being faithful. 

It sucks it really does but it happens a lot more than you think. Many people who have a good heart get used to the point that they do not want to be in a relationship. They are afraid to love and trust again. They do not want to invest time into something new in fears that they will be broken and hurt again and have the feeling that everyone is out to use them.

So if you find a good person, be honest with them and never lie to them no matter how bad you think it will hurt them. 

Are you in a Toxic relationship?

 They only call you toxic when you find out the truth that they were hiding and lying about. When you have that gut feeling that something isn't right and they keep trying to tell you that it's not what it seems, you are overthinking, your insecure that it's all on you because you have trust issues from your past and it's causing you not to trust. 

What they don't know, is that the lies they fed you and made you try to believe is what your exes have pulled and you became wise from it. You observe everything around you and take notes of how they are doing and what they are doing. You start to see similarities and you realize they are doing everything your exes are doing just in a different way and pattern. 

You decide to break off but your heart hurts because you trusted them to be different. You gave them all your love, your time and care just for this to happen. 

You take a break for a while and decide to give them the benefit of the doubt thinking that it's not like that they were right that you were overthinking but then you realize it is a trap and you got tangled into their spiderweb and it is getting worst and worst nothing is going the way they say it would.

 They lied multiple times to cover up and then trying again to make you believe the lie they told that its not true that you're just making things up but this time, you seen it with your own two eyes and so you leave and never come back. 

Block their number, social media and go no contact but then there is going to be this thought of what ifs and it will make you want to reach out but DON'T DO IT! It only will set you up for trouble and to get hurt again.

Eventually the pain you feel will stop and you will find someone who is loyal and will accept everything you have been through and put you first for everything. You will find that special person to be there for you through it all and willing to go through everything with you no matter the good nor the bad they are there for it all. 

But until you find your person be sure to heal, and give yourself a lot of self love, self care and support yourself.  

They aren't for you

If they are not showing you your worth then they are not for you. If they are not showing you they care then they are not for you. If they are showing everyone else attention and talking to them more then they are not for you. If they are calling you names, arguing about pretty much everything, not calling saying they're only with you but not giving you the proof they are and you just know they aren't telling the truth you can feel it and see it.

 They do this to people tag them along make up excuses cause they see the good in you and want to keep it for themselves and they will do anything to do that. They will do any and everything to break you down. They will blame you for the reasons why and then get mad because you reacted the way they didn't want you to.

 It's up to you to decide if you want to keep going though this but I am here to tell you it's not worth it.

 There is someone out there for you that doesn't want to argue that wants to show you the attention and love and care who wants to spend all their time with you. There's someone out there whose always want to be there for you and will always answer you no matter what. There is someone who is willing to accept you for you and if someone ever told you your expectations are to high and your expecting to much that is false cause some one out here is ready for it. The person who told you that is not ready for it and they will not change to. 

There is a person out there whose ready for it but first before you go looking for them be sure to heal yourself and take time for you and give yourself all the love you need.