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Showing posts with label Emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emotions. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 21, 2026

Healing from years of trauma


I am a mother and a wife who carries a lot of trauma from the way people have treated me. I’ve always been the kind of person who would give the shirt off my back, who kept giving chance after chance, even when someone showed me their true colors. No matter how many times I was hurt, I still tried to be there for people who didn’t deserve my time or my energy.

Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and depression. I lived in constant fear, always wondering if I had done something wrong or why am I being targeted the way that I am. I became a people pleaser, bending over backwards just to avoid conflict or to make others like me. Over time, I realized that living like that was destroying me. I had to learn to stop pleasing everyone else and start living for myself — because this is my life, and my responsibility is to my own well‑being and to my family.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that the fewer people you allow into your life, the happier you become. And that includes family and friends. Being related to someone doesn’t automatically mean they are good for you. Some people bring jealousy, envy, manipulation, and chaos. Some are narcissistic and never give you peace or rest. They stir up problems, drain your spirit, and then They will cause a lot of things to happen and then somehow make you feel like you’re the problem. They twist situations, play the victim, and drain you until you barely recognize yourself. For a long time, I let that break me down. I let their behavior convince me that I wasn’t enough, that I had to work harder, give more, tolerate more, just to keep the peace.

But I’ve grown and I cam currently healing from everything. I’ve learned that protecting my peace is not selfish — it’s necessary. I’ve learned that boundaries are not walls; they are shields. And I’ve learned that walking away from people who hurt me is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s healing. It’s choosing myself for the first time in a long time.

Now, I’m focusing on my own happiness, my own mental health, and the family that truly loves me. I’m learning to trust myself again, to listen to my intuition, and to stop apologizing for choosing peace over chaos. I’m finally understanding that I deserve calm, I deserve respect, and I deserve a life that doesn’t feel like a constant battle.

I’m still healing, but I’m no longer breaking myself to keep others comfortable. I’m becoming the version of myself that I should’ve been allowed to be all along — stronger, wiser, and finally free.

Sunday, July 13, 2025

Dating in 2025

 It's 2025. A lot of things changed since the 1900s. Back then it was easy to get a date. It was easy to talk to people and them not lie to you. 

Another thing is don't rush it and actually get to know the person. Take it slow and be sure they are the one.

In today's world, it's one story after another. It's bad enough women, not all of us but a few expects the most from men. I'm not saying nothing but boundaries and priorities but there should be a limit.

If a man who seems interested in you and actually is trying to keep a conversation and actually showing you the attention you want and they wake up talking to you and they fall asleep talking to you and they are pretty much talking to you about everything including how they feel and they are being open with you then you should be open and honest with them. 

He is not your door mat, he is not your money bag or piggy bank. If you are just using him just because and you get mad and bitter when he decides to stop wasting his time on you because you bring nothing to the table but open legs then that's on you. A man need so much more then some cat. 

A man need someone he can confined in and someone that balances him out. He needs his person that he loves so much that he is afraid he's going to lose you. 

Some men do cry not because he's a baby but because it takes a real one to actually show feelings and emotions. Men are always taught oh just because you're a man you can cry or show feelings or emotions. This is not true. Cry and take as much time as you need. 

Stop playing with these men feelings. Stop lying to them. You know they like you and can tell it and if you don't like them be open and honest and tell them.

Stop allowing them to waste their time thinking they got a chance and they ain't your cup or tea cause if the tables were turned you would not like it either. 

Stop using them just for the attention just because you're bored and you are stringing them alone. 

They do not deserve this and I'm not talking about the cheaters and players. I'm talking about the ones that actually does try and is actually looking for love.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

The same feeling The Same memory

As the brown blood flows down my leg along with the water in the shower, as the same painful sharp pains appears in my stomach. I remember the pain from before. The sharp and throbbing pain that you can never forget the same kind of pain you want to never remember. It hurts the blood comes rushing more and more. My belly tightens while my back throbs almost like needles stabbing me. It hurts to the point I don't want to move... throb throb throb... it just keeps flowing and flowing down down down to the point it seems like it's never going to stop... The pain hurts but not as bad as my heart does... Beating beating beating until my pain comes harder and sharper until the tears start rolling from my eyes along with my silent cries...

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Poems Written Through Poetic Eyes ( Preview, Get yours today!)


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Everything
Everything doesn't feel real
touch
it's all in your imagination  
this is all a dream
we are all inside
your head can't you see it's all nothing but a memory
just close your eyes
go to sleep there's
nothing to fear
but life itself
But this is the
end of the poem  
there's no time   
left to continue
so this  is how it'll end
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Fear of the dead
Sittin in this empty room
watching  my mind flutter
across the page of my memory
and listening to  the slow moans of the dead
> the embracing arms of the cold dead
that stalks me every step i take and
sleep with me even when i'm ignoring their presence


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


YOU.
You treat me horribly
I'm 19 I should have freedom
but I don't you're trying to keep me under your wing But you're wrong  
it's not gonna work
I'm ready to go ready to leave
I can't stand it here you yell cuss and try to fight
You threatened to hit me
You try to scare me but you don't Try breaking me now
I have someone who will help me stand
You're not ready for me to go but watch me leave
Your not gonna win

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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