Am I Garbage ?

 I got called garbage again for not catering to his lies. I got called garbage for the 3rd time because he could not handle me for me. The joking me. I got called garbage and told I have a shit life because he said I don't do anything but break people in which it's not true.

 I have kids to take care of while he's all the way on the Pacific coast playing games all day and coming up with excuses and lies.

 Lies and excuses of why he can't do anything. Why he can't call, video chat and or send photos like he says he has social anxiety but can talk to his friends but when I decide to disappear its like he gets mad. 

I decided it was not worth it anymore and ended everything. He has done this for the past two years and it's becoming worst and worst. It got to the point I could not be myself without having to worry if he's gonna be mad. 

He was really manipulative and basically tried to hurt me daily. He never really showed me any attention but always gave it to others.

It was like I had to force everything. It was like he wanted to try to control what I did and do and I just would not let him. Every time he left I start questioning myself and trying to figure out the cause of it all but then a few days I would become happy but then it hits me because I cared so much it would kind of hurt but then after a few weeks to a month I would be okay and it's like he knows it because he would always come back and try to and it happens all over again except this time.

Marriage and Clingy-ness

Lets talk about marriage and how sweet it is shall we? It's a great thing marriage is when you find the right person to confide in but now lets talk about clingy-ness the one thing that causes marriage to kind of shift away.

Clingy-ness is not good for a marriage it brings all kinds of things such as jealousy, selfishness and many other things. It can turn a beautiful process into a beautiful nightmare and tragedy.

Marriage is suppose to be built on trust but if there is no trust then guess what there is nothing there it turns into a repeating nightmare that you just want to escape from and have fears that you cannot.

You can become broken if and start to crumble as your trying to hold it all together there should never be selfishness in marriage and if there is trust then you should never have to worry if your spouse still wants you and loves you.

Being broken is hard while trying to hold up your head and make sure nothing is falling apart. It is a tough job when one person is pulling the whole thing because the other person has gave up. It can and will destroy you as a person and end up  tearing you down. Sometimes if it is like this it's best to leave the marriage and rebuild. Other times it's best to communicate and tell the other how you feel or it will keep happening.

Communication is key in any relationship, don't get mad don't judge just listen to what the other one say and nine times out of ten it will make it better.