The Truth About Chasing What Won’t Change

 

Sometimes doing the same things can end up burning you out. Trying to make and force things to happen or change when they can't change or won't change is only going to drain and depress you and make you feel as if you have failed. If something shows you that it's not going to work then evedently it's not going to work.

 Sometimes the things you want to work and have been working years on is going to end up failing and that is okay.

 It is going to hurt but it is okay. It does not mean give up on the dream and goal it just means to take a break and leave it alone. 

If it is mean to come up it will eventually but if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be just keep pushing and do something new.

It's a tough pill to swallow but me, myself I am now learning this with affiliate marketing and my blogs and everything else that is not working for me but for some reason, I keep coming back thinking it's going to change or maybe I'm doing something wrong but I have had this blog since 2015ish and nothing really changed except I got AdSense but I only made one dollar from then to here and nothing more. 

Affiliate marketing, I have made really nothing with. It is hard to get people to click links. It is hard to get traction and explain to people why the need the product and it is especially hard to stand out more than the others who are also doing it.

My books, my clothing design same thing. It is hard to get things off the ground even if you push and network. It is hard and it's nothing anyone is doing wrong it's just to many people doing the same things.

Healing from years of trauma

I am a mother and a wife who carries a lot of trauma from the way people have treated me. I’ve always been the kind of person who would give the shirt off my back, who kept giving chance after chance, even when someone showed me their true colors. No matter how many times I was hurt, I still tried to be there for people who didn’t deserve my time or my energy.

Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and depression. I lived in constant fear, always wondering if I had done something wrong or why am I being targeted the way that I am. I became a people pleaser, bending over backwards just to avoid conflict or to make others like me. Over time, I realized that living like that was destroying me. I had to learn to stop pleasing everyone else and start living for myself — because this is my life, and my responsibility is to my own well‑being and to my family.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that the fewer people you allow into your life, the happier you become. And that includes family and friends. Being related to someone doesn’t automatically mean they are good for you. Some people bring jealousy, envy, manipulation, and chaos. Some are narcissistic and never give you peace or rest. They stir up problems, drain your spirit, and then They will cause a lot of things to happen and then somehow make you feel like you’re the problem. They twist situations, play the victim, and drain you until you barely recognize yourself. For a long time, I let that break me down. I let their behavior convince me that I wasn’t enough, that I had to work harder, give more, tolerate more, just to keep the peace.

But I’ve grown and I cam currently healing from everything. I’ve learned that protecting my peace is not selfish — it’s necessary. I’ve learned that boundaries are not walls; they are shields. And I’ve learned that walking away from people who hurt me is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s healing. It’s choosing myself for the first time in a long time.

Now, I’m focusing on my own happiness, my own mental health, and the family that truly loves me. I’m learning to trust myself again, to listen to my intuition, and to stop apologizing for choosing peace over chaos. I’m finally understanding that I deserve calm, I deserve respect, and I deserve a life that doesn’t feel like a constant battle.

I’m still healing, but I’m no longer breaking myself to keep others comfortable. I’m becoming the version of myself that I should’ve been allowed to be all along — stronger, wiser, and finally free.

Trying to Heal When You’re Still in Survival Mode

Healing sounds simple until you actually start doing it. Everyone says, “Just take care of yourself,” like it’s something you can magically do when life is still piling things on top of you. 

Healing is never easy once you start trying to do it. It can take a toll on you and eventually make you feel like is it really worth it? The answer is yes it is worth it. You may feel the worst going through it but once you are healed it feels like you are 10x lighter and nothing really bothers you anymore.

Healing takes time, but survival doesn’t wait.

Sometimes you’re trying to recover from the past while dealing with new stress, financial worries, health issues, family needs, and the everyday chaos life throws at you. And trying to grow while you’re still fighting to stay afloat is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

But here’s what I’ve learned: healing doesn’t have to look perfect. It doesn’t have to be peaceful. Sometimes healing is messy, loud, painful, and slow. Sometimes it’s choosing to rest when you feel guilty for resting. Sometimes it’s saying “no” even when people expect a “yes.” Sometimes it’s letting yourself feel emotions you’ve ignored for years.

If you’re doing your best while still in survival mode, be proud of yourself. You’re fighting battles people don’t see. And every step — even the small ones — still counts.