My life,2022

 Christmas is on its way and I am not ready. I am normally always ready for Christmas but this year is different.

 Last year, I had money for Christmas where this year I do not since the company that I was working for decided to make it harder for their affiliates to be able to make money. 

They also pay a month behind so it. 

 The threshold for pay out is 50 dollars but if you do not hit 50 you do not get paid so you kind of get it. 

I included an image of the payments and the last time I got paid from the company. 

If anyone feels in the giving spirit, you can always tip me. It is not required but I would be very thankful! I am also looking for remote work if anyone could point the way.

I have been trying to figure things out on my own. The person that I married, made so many promises that it's to the point I am tired of hearing them and they become broken promises that are empty. I have repeatedly asked him to do things and it is like talking to a brick wall and I end up having to do them myself even though he said he would get it, don't worry but what is the point when it is me having to pull your load also because he won't. I am so tired of this, I am tired of living like this, I am tired of the unwanted stress I receive daily and it is not fair to me and my mental health to be put through this even though oh, he applied to jobs, been accepted but comes up with excuses and reasons he can't do it just like everything else. This is not fair to me.  

I have spent a lot of my time applying for jobs for him... I have spent a lot of my time worrying about bills being paid, worried about if everything is in order when he lives careless... I did not get a gift for our anniversary and most of the gifts that I got... I end up giving him money to buy or he some how got it. I don't really get Christmas.. I don't get flowers or chocolates really. I don't even get to go out on dates anymore and it sucks. 

Here are my links... to the gaming stuff https://linktr.ee/taintedlg

Here is my sextoy review blog, you can buy anything from it and I get a few dollars commission anything helps. My blogs have ads on the sides you can buy from which will also give me a few dollar commission. 

MY CASH APP 

MY VENMO 

Life stressing you out?

 Are you stressed about life and don't know what else to do? I might have a solution for you. You can sit back and just look around you and relax. You can take 5 minutes-1 hour a day do whatever hobby you enjoy to unwind from your stressful day or you can go by your local Walmart and go into the vitamin section  and get you something called Stress relief by health and habit. I absolutely enjoy the way it just pulls my stress and anxiety and depression from me and the best thing is you can take up to two capsules a day. 

With PCOS I was having severe anxiety and stressing over everything since my hormones are imbalanced and all they were going to do was put me on birth control and possibly antidepressants not help me the way I though they would since they did not even actually check if the cyst is okay but due to heavy bleeding she just marked it as everything and stable when it really no longer feels like it and its hurting me in my groin area again and pushing down making my pelvic hurt to walk. The stress relief helped. 

 

A strong woman

 When you are a strong woman you are independent. You will do things on your own and not care. You will pull your weight and make sure those around you and your family will and can make it. The old saying goes a strong independent woman will not need a man to do anything for them they got it themselves. Yes it would be nice to have some help from time to time but sometimes the help that you get is no good and does no good. 

We basically heard every excuse and all kinds of things from I will do something and they never do it or the reasons why they cannot do anything. We heard it all and it's the same thing either from the same person or different people. Never get your hopes up because they will surely tell you things that you want to hear or they will tell you things they think you want to hear. I have heard it all from don't worry to I will do something and been disappointed day in and day out waiting for it to get done and guess what months to years down the road it has not been done or when I get tired something being a way and I try to do something for myself then they just jump up and try to do it and do it and give you some excuse of why they haven't done it.

 EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES BLAME, BLAME, BLAME. A human can only take so much and then its like we get tired of having to tell what to do. We get tired of being blamed and hearing the excuses. We ask a simple thing and we get nothing but excuses or time they will do it and it never gets done. It all just piles up.

 Us women sometimes decide to take things in our own hands cause we are sick of it. We ask for simple things to be done and we get disappointed and so we learn to pick up our own weight and carry it and not wait for anyone. We make sure our family is good and bills are paid. Waiting for people to do stuff can get tiring and start to pile up. This could be stressful and harmful. Some may not understand this but most will.

Being a mom in college

College is difficult when you have 2 kids. It is also difficult when you are trying to rest after getting surgery. I had a C-section December 27th, I got to leave on December 29th. Things are straining us. We are struggling to pay bills. My birthday is January 27th. I don't want to celebrate it I am to weak and tired and hurting. I just want to not be stressed. I want to be able to pay my bill and that will be fine with me. I haven't got a gift for my birthday in about 3 years. I haven't got a cake in God knows when. This is tough. I can't even hold my 1 year old because he is to heavy. I can barely hold myself up to walk, my husband has to help me walk because I cannot. He is also in school and tending to our kids and me all at the sametime and I know he's worried and stressed and I just want to be able to help. I just want to get better and be stressed free.


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My feelings at this very moment in 3 words

Stressed

Worried

Emotional