Being Bi racial in America

I never had a goal in life but I always wanted to travel. I always wanted to visit states and go out of town and just visit different places including out of the country. I always wanted to visit New Zealand, and Canada and the United Kingdom including Fiji. My dream was to always be able to travel around to not just all 50 states but to different countries and just check out the places since it has always been a dream and I never visited anywhere out of the states and have only been to two states so far in my life. 

I basically put a lot of things on hold while having a family and trying to support them in the world we live in right now since it is hectic and I have a feeling it is only going to be worst. Being a bi racial person with a bi racial sibling with bi racial children who have autism, married to a Caucasian man while having a bi racial mother and father in this world makes it kind of scary and causes fear not knowing what is going to happen next. They already over turned the Wade VS Roe something that has been set into law and into place for 50+ years and now there are rumors of it going to be worst as they take more and more rights away. 

I know there are a lot of bi racial people out there who are fearing the same thing. It is history repeating itself where women has no rights and the men gets all of the say. I hope they can stop it soon so we can go back to the country we once was or what we showed people to be. 

America was always the place where could be free people. If they have a dream it could happen. They would come here to have a better life than what they have in their own country but lately it is the complete opposite of it and personally if I could afford it, I would move since I do not know the out come of what is going to happen next and I don't want my family in harms way. 

I mean they already don't have baby formula on the shelves for the baby but they banned abortions. There are barely in food on the shelves in grocery stores as it is now and mysteriously the factories are burning down that produces the food. Baby products have metal shimming in them that can cause harm to the babies. Cows died from a high heats and then chickens and poultry died of bird flu. Then there was a chicken shortage along with other food shortages. 

If I were you, I would start gardening and grow your own because it will be healthier and safer then what they put into them now.

Gas prices are going so high to the point we have to decided what we want to do whether its pay bills, go to work, or eat. There is no in-between anymore and you are basically working yourself to death for a company that will get major tax breaks at the end of the year but can careless about your well being and can replace you within seconds. 

We have race war, viruses, diseases, homeless vets, homeless citizens, people who could not afford life and no one helped or helps them really. They are dividing us and separating us by turning certain people like the vaxxed and the anti-vaxxed, democrat vs republican, blacks vs whites, religions and the always famous the rich vs the poor where the richer gets richer and the poorer gets poorer.

 People in fear of not knowing what is going to happen to them one day after the next due to there's so many people being killed so many people having to make decision that they are not ready to make.

They are talking about voting rights are next, then LGBTQIA+ but then what's next? It is like they are taking our rights away that so many people worked hard for to put into place to be sure we all have quality but for what? They don't see us as human they see us as something else basically a money ticket they use us to stack their money high while we all struggle to survive. We are basically wage slaves.

This is not the America we use to know. This is not the American dream. 

IMAGE CITED-, Joseph Catrone, et al. “Editorial: We Did Start the Fire.” Hicksville News, 10 Apr. 2018, https://hicksvillenews.com/2018/04/11/editorial-we-did-start-the-fire/.

ASHWA (Ashwagandha) GOLI GUMMIES (Sales Out quickly!!)

 We all have been at a place or going through something in our lives that makes us stressed out and cannot keep calm. Whether it is work related, home related or even family issues. These Ashwa Gummies are exactly what you are needing to help you get the relaxation and peace you are needing! You can take the Ashwa gummy and the Apple cider one at the same time so that it can help you any way that you are needing and it also gives your body double support which is great! 

The difference between the Goli Apple Cider Vinegar and the Ashwa gummies is that these helps you keep calm and it de-stresses and relaxes you. While the Apple Cider ones does helps the body and gives you energy that you are missing and or are needing. So it is perfect to take these in the evening and before bed to help you relax and wind down from the day so that you can get the rest you are needing. 

The Ashwa gummies also helps your mood, sexual functions, memory, immune system, sleep, physical performance and supports weight management and heart. It is perfect to help give you the non stressful life you are needing.

With this gummy you take two twice a day unlike with the Apple cider vinegar one but it does so much for your body! Anyone can take these male or female, him, they, she, us, me, you anyone including the nonbinary.  

Contains: 10 Calories, 12.5 mcg Vitamin D and Pectin, 150 mcg Ashwagandha and mixed berries. 2g Total sugars, 3.5 total carbohydrates, 

These gummies work wonders and sell out quickly and have to be freshly made so it could take up to days and weeks before you receive it! 

SHIPS WORLD WIDE INTERNATIONALLY FREE SHIPPING 

Check out the goli apple cider post here

Get your apple cider vinegar ones here

* USE DISCOUNT CODE: lovely_grizzly (preorder yours today! Can Cancel anytime!)

PCOS diagnose my trip to the obgyn

Have you ever had a doctor that doesn't really do what they are suppose to do? I have had a handful. I was dying in pain from a pancreatic stent and was told they can't do anything for me and then I went to a different hospital and got it removed.

I have been told by my OBGYN that she's worried about my uterus because of not having a period for 3 years and having a cyst on it which she didn't even order ultrasound or CT scan to check but wrote on my paperwork and chart everything is fine the cyst is intact in which I am bleeding and have been bleeding for two days and she says it's my period in which I don't think it is. So I am getting a second opinion since it seems like my concerns does not matter to her.

It's like they don't want to do their job but want to get paid. Every time I go to her she pulls out this square book and point out all her birth control tries to push me on birth control when my husband has a vasectomy and it does not matter my opinion on anything. It's like she listens but does not listen at the same time.  

With Roe VS Wade most of the doctor offices are not giving birth controls and contraceptives methods so I have no idea what is going to happen when it comes down this far. 

We asked if I need to go to a endocrinologist and she says no, she wants me on birth control to see if it levels out my hormones and periods so that the cyst can stop forming but she wants me to come back to her in a year and I doubt that I will. I am working on finding a new OBGYN. (If you do not know endocrinologist are those who check hormone levels.)

I feel like she has failed me as a woman. To make sure my safety and medical needs are met. I feel like I should have not even bothered going to the appointment because she just did the same thing she did last time but this time she said why she's prescribing it.

 I don't like the way she has done me as a patient and did not thoroughly check me but on her paperwork she said she did. I was at the time bleeding heavy and it was like she did not even bother explaining anything or what is going on but quickly wrote down on my paper work that she explained it when she did not.

 She said she checked for cyst but she did not do any kind of scan and was in a hurry for me to do a pregnancy test in which I did two a week ago because I went to two different hospitals with the pain and they said that I am not pregnant. She also ordered a AC1 test that was not even positive. 

I started taking Fenugreek which basically fixed all of my hormones and gave me my period back after 3 years. It fixed my PH balance and helped my body so much more than the birth control did. I even am loosing weight on it which is nice. I highly recommend anyone going through PCOS and endometriosis fenugreek. It took all my pain away and allowed me to do what I need to do. I do not and will not take the birth control they gave me since last time and time after that it gave me so much more issues. 

GET YOUR FENUGREEK HERE

I'm overweight but I don't eat:PCOS issues

Let me first start off by saying, I have been overweight my entire life but it's nothing I have done wrong it's natural.

Doctors are all the time telling me I need to loose some weight and I always bring up doc how can I be overweight when I can't eat really. I eat a little here and a little there and my body doesn't want food and I'm not forcing it. 

Every appointment it does not matter with who or where it's always I need to change my diet, I need to stop eating certain foods and over eating but the thing is I don't. I hardly eat fried foods, processed food or high fatty foods. I don't really eat out much and if I do it's every now and again. I don't eat cakes or anything really sweet but I'm still gaining weight.

 My OBGYN yesterday which is June 30th was talking about my weight and then she printed out a sheet of what I have which is PCOS and the number one thing it causes is excessive amount of weight gain.

She's even telling me to change my diet a diet of I don't even really eat and she said I was starving myself because of it and in no way shape or form I'm starving myself. 

I all the time trying to figure out what I am doing that is causing me to be able to gain so much weight but the thing is I cannot even notice it. I am moving just fine, I am not physically tired when I move around and do stuff. It is just mind boggling. They always say I need to loose weight but no one can tell me what is causing it nor how its coming about. No one is helping me understand how I am gaining so much. This is mind boggling on how someone can say something and then give you a paper that states it is totally normal and it doesn't matter if you work out or what you do it will still happen. 

Not everyone is the same not everyone's body is going to react the same even though we all are supposedly to have the same organs in which some does not and some are not in the right spot it does not mean that it will do what it is suppose to do.

I am not bothered by my weight and I never was really. It is something that I cannot help and I am not bothered by it.

Gallbladder pain/ removal, hysterectomy

Ever been seen by your doctor and you've started to notice that you are going more constantly for the pains or discomfort or your body is doing what it needs to do or suppose to do and you are feeling sick, tired and drained more often? 

If you are having gallbladder issues that is causing you pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea it would be best to change your diet and stop eating process foods, fatty foods, foods that contains high amounts of sugar because that will not help it. It will make it worst to the point you feel like you are dying and trust me after getting your gallbladder removed will feel the same way and it gets worst but then there's no organ to be removed because they already took it. 

If you've had it removed you will experience irritable bowel system (IBS) and then that hurts worst and causes more pain and issues and if you are like me, you will not get the diarrhea that comes after it. Most people say you will get diarrhea right after the surgery but that was not the case for me. It happened way later. I also have GERD and a bunch of other fun digestive issues from it even to the point I feel like I am dying. A thing to help the digestive issue would be Bile salt. Because the gallbladder was in control of the bile that is made by the liver and it releases it within the intake of food and nutrients but having a liquid that helps digest the food but once its gone you no longer have that and you end up having to find a new way to help the digestive tract no one will tell you this.

If you have a hysterectomy or a partial it is the same way. It may hurt you and cause you pain but if you remove it it will be worst than before and no one will ever tell you this. People are so happy that they removed it but will never tell you the negative to it. You may be suffering with this now but if you get it removed you are suppose to go on hormone therapy for it and be on hormones so that your body can balance back out but guess what, some people don't do it and causes them it feels horrible. 

You also may want to check out herbal teas and seamoss. Both can help out with a lot of things especially if you are having a hormone imbalance I would use chasteberries it good for helping the hormones

Chamomile flower is good for insomnia but I am allergic to it but there are different ones such as magnolia bark or leaf tea. 

Anxiety

 Something they do not tell you about anxiety is that it gets worst and it doesn't matter what you do. Anxiety can cause so much including overthinking all the time and that can put stress on your body even if you don't realize it. 

If you hear a certain thing, see certain things, think certain things it can destress you and trigger you so bad to the point you just start breathing heavily and you won't be able to calm it. It gives chest pains and so much more. It can become crippling if you are not careful.

It can keep you awake a night worrying and over thinking things. You will be insomniac and then sleep during the day most of the day and if there's a sudden noise, it can cause your heart to drop and feel like it's falling sending you into panicking. Trust me I was there also and some nights I still am having this. 

This is also coming from PCOS and trauma that I have had through out my life. I sometimes have to lay in the dark, listen to rain videos and ocean videos on youtube to allow myself to sleep and try to get as comfortable as possible because I can and will start panicking at night for no reason at all its just my mind getting worked up over basically nothing and causes me to over think breathe heavy and just start hyperventilating. 

The best thing for you to do is to basically avoid anything that triggers you, I mean at sometime or another you are going to end up going into crowds, and doing things that bothers you but do it when you are ready and when you are at ease. Don't rush and don't panic through it just breathe through it and have those around you that you trust and knows you. 

Do things that you enjoy and if you want to try something new go a little at a time and not force completely into it since your body will start sending languages that it is un-comfy and that will cause a lot of distress. 

But do things you like and if that is playing video games, drawing, reading, visiting nature is a good idea with anxiety and grounding yourself is also a good thing it helps you with the universe. If you don't know how to ground yourself, just go outside barefoot and walk in the dirt and if you can sit on the grass with your feet in the dirt and meditate, go outside talk to the plants, and the trees and just basically learn yourself.  

Sell photography online

 I honestly have only sold one photo and that was on shutterstock. I never made anything on 500px, dreamstine, foap or any of them other sites and apps. It was like my photography was weak and there's was so much more. 

All I seen on there was edited photos and not really many natural like I take. I would always get likes but it's like I and follows. Because of this it turned me away from trying to sell my photos, I did not see a reason to keep trying to compete when everyone was so much more than I was. 

The contests that were on the site sometimes the photos that wins or submitted has nothing to do with what the contest and it basically felt like they already had people that they wanted to win. Don't get me wrong I know my photos are not the greatest since I don't edit them and mine are natural also uploading my photos to either one of these they mainly fail because it wasn't focused or any other reason that was thrown at me including they didn't have many people selling the photo or just to many like my photos weren't good enough and then they don't want edited ones but people put nothing but edited photos and it was just picking and choosing so I decided to close them all since it wasn't fair and made me feel less.

Click here to see my photos (more on the way)

I sell decal stickers and more