An update about me; I have PCOS

 So, lately I have been sick and feeling miserable, drained, exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious. It seemed that it was getting worst and the anxiety attacks were not helping. This was becoming worst than all the other pain I have been having. In my teens, starting at 10 years old I suffered heavy periods to the point the pain was excruciating and it was basically hard for me to do anything for the first couple days. I would lay around with heating pad on my lower abdomen to my leg because the cramps would be so bad that it would hurt my legs. Sometimes it would also give me butt cramps to the point I don't even wanna move. I would have to leave school early and not even go is how bad they were. My mothers was just like this but they never diagnosed her with anything except they had to operate on her uterus due to it being heart shaped. They basically gave her birth control for this and then she tried to get me on it to help regulate it but they would not do anything for me so I was stuck suffering with it. So fast forward to me being in my late teens it was getting worst and I was having mystery pain.

No one could figure it out no one knew how to diagnose it. I was sick to my stomach, it hurt to move and it did not matter what I did. I felt like I was bleeding to death. There was so much blood every time it was enough for a crime scene. There's no way a person should be bleeding like this but I did.

When I had my first child at the age of 19 it wasn't that bad. The bleeding after wasn't so bad. After my second child it wasn't all that bad either but after my third child is when it started to worry me. I bleed for about 3-5 weeks and then it stopped. I stopped bleeding and I had a concern about it. I went to the hospital for pain in my back and I brought up I haven't really had an period I was diagnosed with kidney stones and no one could tell where my period went. I got referred to my OBGYN and they said I was just stressed. Three years rolls around and I was still hurting and have not had a period. I was basically waiting on something to come on which probably won't anymore and I was in so much pain for a month or two and then it got worst over the past two weeks.

 I was in incredible amount of pain and it has been happening and coming and going for months. The first hospital I went to on the 9th of June basically told me they could not find anything on the CT scan and nothing was on the swabs from the pelvic exam. A few days go by and yesterday on the 15th of June I went to another hospital since my I had to call and make an appointment with OBGYN from the first hospital visit due to I don't and have not had an period in three years which was alarming and they said to go get checked out if it was not getting better and if the medicine the other hospital prescribed was no longer working in which it was not and their ER found I have PCOS and a cyst on my ovary along with an infection. This explained my horrible periods from my teen years until my early 20s and answered my question of why I was hurting so bad. Also this would explain my anxiety attacks, depression, mood swings and the itchiness all over my body along with my chin hair growth and plenty of other issues I have been having.

 Motive of all this is to keep a check and if something does not feel right then keep going and keep getting it checked and get second opinions.

Careful of the company you keep...

Sometimes you have to get out of your feelings to make decisions that are best for you. If you are in your feelings then you would be doing what your heart wants and not what is best for you. Having a big heart and wanting to help everyone can be crucial due to you personally cannot please everyone no matter how hard you try. You will end up wearing yourself down trying to be there for people who are partly or never there for you or do not even care at all. 

Some people are not your friends and will use you for things that you can do for them and not even bother helping you. I have been there, I have a heart of gold trying to help people and be there for people just because I know what it is like to not have any help and then they basically used me, manipulated me and so much more. They made it seem and feel like they are the only ones that was there for me, that no one else wanted to be there and then they turned around and left. I basically ended all contact with them and basically got rid of the toxic and worked on trying to heal myself. 

They make it so that you are only there for them and while they only want you there when they need you and then they wear you down, making it difficult to see and basically manipulating you so that you can keep doing what they want or need you to do by using any and everything they can. They will use what you have told them and basically use it against you jus to keep you there to say and say on the edge so that way they can have you all to themselves and it's just an toxic environment and it will end up causing problems. 

I was basically a listening ear, giving them tips, advice and always there when they needed a help up. I always basically put people first and always try to help them, give them love that they are needing all while they don't even bother to make sure I was okay.  I am currently working on myself and putting myself first instead of letting my heart get in the way and get broken or hurt. 

I was there through all the disrespect while being faithful and loyal and still trying to help them even through they used me as a door mat and walked over me and said hurtful things which I didn't let it get to me as much but it sure did hurt but I never showed it. 

I am doing what is best for me and not helping as many people and removing the negative people and those I outgrew out of my circle which was small to begin with and replacing them with people who are for me.

Outgrowing people is thinking differently and being on a different level and changing. You change the way you think and the way you do things while everyone around you stay the same. Once you start changing you can see how others change and see the difference. You can even talk to them about an idea and business plan and that allows you to see where they stand. Don't give up even if they tell you, "you won't make it." "It will fail." "It's not going to happen." Even if it doesn't make it and does fail at least you tried. Take that and grow from it. If you feel it isn't going the way you want it to then change it plan differently and plan accordingly.

But then again don't tell anyone your plan and never let them know your next move. They will only hate on it and try to use it for themselves. They will envy you regardless even if you make it because you are no longer there for their access for them to keep draining you and using you and keeping you where they want you. 

You can go with what your heart says but also go with what your brain says. If your heart does the thinking, it can cause so much on you to the point you won't do what is best you will end up still trying to help those and cater to those who basically will use you up and take everything from you including your energy. 

If you are tired of it, trust me I know you will eventually cause not everyone can keep dealing with it. You want to grow but it seems like you are stuck and by getting rid of the negative person in your life things around you will start changing and things will get better. Your mind set will be differently and it gets better. 

It will hurt for a little while but surrounding yourself with those who want to see you win and are there when you need them are the true meaning of friends. Those are the people you need in your life not someone who basically leeches your energy off of you to the point you are so drained you cannot do anything else and you are trying to change but can't. 

You have to cut them kinds of people off because they aren't helping you grow. They are basically making it so that you cannot grow into the person you want to be and staying around them will end up making you a cold hearted and heartless person and not want to help anyone else. So careful of the company keep since not all company is good company. 

Also if you are looking for love, the same rules apply. Don't just get with someone you have to be sure you can grow with them and they want to grow with you. Can't be in a one sided relationship expecting things to work cause it's not going to. A relationship takes two people to grow, put trust in and be able to talk to each other through it all and be there and if you are there but the other person isn't then its not a relationship.

The Truth about being a Content Creator (Streaming, Recording)

 Not enough people gets enough credit from being a gamer or content creator. It doesn't matter if your content is good you will end up sitting with no views talking to yourself. Every time you go to end the stream you will be sitting there looking at the 0 views, 0 comments trying to figure out what went wrong and what happened or the famous question "Am I good enough?" "Will I ever make it?" 

The truth that no one talks about is even if you make it to affiliate on twitch there is nothing behind it. You won't get views, you barely even get chatters. Trust me I know the feels, I have been a twitch affiliate since 2018 and its not worth it. No matter how many times I shared, joined servers branched out it doesn't help. I even promoted my streams using Gamerized and Streamers Network but just like always my streams were me talking to myself so there for I quit streaming for a little while, it did not matter anyways I barely had anyone come in, I felt like I was alone. 

It sucks thinking you can make it and it doesn't get anywhere, people that follow you just to be following you in hopes you would drop them a follow also. I even made a discord server called Creators Unite where we are more than creators but family; but then again people only used me to help them get to affiliate and it was so much on me that I had to quit and transfer ownership to a close person to me. I felt like I was suffocating myself to help everyone else rise to the top when they weren't helping there selves, I was the one going hours and hours throughout the day sharing their stuff from reddit to twitter and basically everywhere I could just to try to help them. 

I am still somewhat making YouTube recorded videos just to be making them hoping one day it would take off but its never a promise. I also have Facebook gaming and a ko-fi in hopes something takes off but I won't get my hopes up to high since we are like stars and have our own time to shine but don't give up maybe one day it will be your turn. 

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You can make X amount of figures SCAM

 Running a blog is never easy. Sometimes it is hard to get traffic and so you have to promote it basically everywhere all while making sure your SEO is up to standers to be sure you are being seen and getting traffic all while using catchy titles and tags and labels.

Adsense doesn't always get approved sometimes you cannot make money on it so you have to find affiliate marketing links just to make a little.

The ugly truth is if your not getting views your not gonna get paid. Even if you are getting views does not mean your gonna get paid. People will say you can make so much from this and by doing this but it's not true. It's a scam and if you click on the links on their blog post they get paid and they are the ones giving you false hope by having you believe you can make so many figures by doing such and such but it's just click bate and a scam. I fell for it one to many times in hopes it's real but it's not. It's a get rich quick scheme people use to take advantage of people just so that they can get traffic to their own blogs.

 Also paying for traffic doesn't help. Don't use the paid sites to get views and traffic it makes them money and gives you bot views and no one wants that we want organic growth.

I have had my spicy review blog since 2018 and it has been ups and downs. It doesn't matter how many views you are getting. If they don't like it, they won't buy and it doesn't matter what it is. I have my side bars full of affiliate ads but they just sit there and linking the product in the post doesn't help either. 

Check out my spicy blog reviews 

If you are wanting to start a small business or blog I highly suggest dreamhost for hosting even though its a WordPress site that you can convert into regular websites also by uploading your own files, you can make it into a shop like I did. 

My book here!

Warrior

 There's a warrior inside of you. Look at all the obstacles you have over came. Look at all the things you went through that have made you stronger. You at how many times you wanted to give up but that wasn't an option for you. You made it through your struggles, your tough times. You changed your life around and made yourself stronger to fight and go head and head against anything thrown your way. 

People judging you because they don't know you, they don't know your struggles, your battles, your war. They only judging you based off what they heard and your character and what they see but they don't know you. 

They don't see what you fight against daily. They don't know how bad you want to give up but don't. They don't see anything but only what they want to see. They are to quick to judge to quick to spread rumors and lies they heard.

But they don't see how far you came. They don't know the truama you endorsed or what happened to you. Sometimes they won't even understand and that's okay cause they aren't meant to. It's not their life, their journey but it's yours. 

No matter how hard it gets don't give up. You are chosen for this battle because no one else could handle it like you can. 

If you haven't heard this in a while, just know I genuinely mean it. I am so proud of you of how far you came and what you overcame and I love you. Do not give up. You have the power to get through everything. 

The scars, the wounds you have will tell your story, everything is what molded you into the person you are today and are going to be.

Change your life

 Are you wanting change and not sure where to start? Are you tired of feeling the same everyday or doing the same things everyday to the point of your tired of doing it? Is it starting to wear you down and you just want to do something or try something else or new? Go for it. 

You have the power to change it and only you can do it. But to change things it starts with yourself first. Change up your thinking and your routines helps. Start being positive and think positive about things.

Don't procrastinate, don't panic, don't worry, just breath and relax. I know it's easier said then done but waiting around to do something or waiting for something to happen just takes your time and you could of done whatever it is you are wanting. Panicking doesn't help anything it just makes things worst and causes so much more to happen. It causes overthinking about everything which will make you feel like your being overwhelmed, and because of this you will be trying to replay scenarios that hasn't happen yet or already done in the past. 

You cannot change the situation but you can change the outcome. So don't stress the stuff you cannot change. It was sent to help make you and mold you not break you but make you stronger even if it seems like it's to much. Just take it one step and one day at a time and don't stress over it. Thing will work out some way some how it always does.

You can do or be anything all you have to do is have a dream, a goal and a plan, a vision, a good mindset, positivity and a good head on the shoulders  and with that you can achieve anything.

Car troubles of mine

Transmission went out in Camry in 2019, In 2020 Chrysler van had issues running and heard a loud bang and it quit going in gear and won't crank up- sounds like timing issue,

In 2022 Suzuki caught fire internally burned the driver seat all the way back to the back air vents it was still drivable but didn't trust it since I have kids and wasn't sure where the fire started and now the Honda CVR I just bought is needing a new engine cause of a timing belt and a mechanic that didn't know how to work on JDM motors just my luck. On top of everything I don't have enough money to get it replace as of now since I just bought it in March.

I am an affiliate marketer, blogger and reviewer. I also make vinyl decals and more. https://linktr.ee/thelovelysexxto1 - link to all my sites