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Showing posts with label slowly wanting a divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label slowly wanting a divorce. Show all posts

Thursday, July 17, 2025

If I would have known...

 If I known what I knew then, I would move differently. I would of never settled and I would of done better. It is to the point I am tired of trying. I am tired of asking and damn well near begging for better. We never go on family vacations anymore. 

We never get to do anything. You always come up with some kind of excuse and I would always keep feeding into it. You're excuses have all but ran dry. It is to the point I am no longer happy anymore. You keep coming up with excuses one after another after another hoping, I would stop talking about it or change the subject. You make excuses to the point I am sick of hearing them.

 There is no reason at your grown age you keep lying. There is no reason at your grown age you trying to "comfort" with lies and then make it seem like everyone else is what you say they are when you pretty much are lying to me. 

The only time we actually spend together when you're not working is when you are asleep and I say up all-night trying to decide how to get the house fix or what I can do better and try to get things done while struggling and juggling my health even though you say you'll do it and all of a sudden months and months pass by to the point you don't even do it but yet when I mention it again, oh I'm hurting or oh I'm swelling, my gout is kicking in or oh my hands and feet are swelling in which when I asked you they weren't then but then suddenly its another excuse after another.

You tell me, I deserve better. You tell me so many different things but then when I recant it you tell me oh I did not say that, I must of been asleep or act like you didn't say that. 

I actually do deserve better. I do not deserve the years of things you done. I do not deserve the way you say one thing but then do another and use every excuse just because. I am a human being with needs and feelings. When a person gets tired enough, they will walk away. They will leave and it doesn't matter how much it kills them or hurts them inside.

There is more to a marriage and relationship then just love. It is about trust and to prove to the other person that you are worth it and that they are not wasting their time. 

I vowed to love you through sickness and in health but its to the point, I am no longer taking care of myself. I am no longer feeling like the person I use to be. I feel like I lost myself when I made a commitment to a person who barely even bothers but yet changed but yet its still like they could careless. I asked for months for help around the house but yet I get the excuse, one after another after another and I no longer want to live this way. 

I am releasing everything that no longer serves a purpose to me. I am getting rid of anyone who wasted my time and instead of nourishing me used me. I refuse to care anymore. I refuse to give myself to those who only want to use me. 

Saturday, January 28, 2023

You're so insecure

 

You're so insecure about yourself that you basically reflect it on me. You are so insecure that you have to ask me if you penis size is big enough or that you have to make sure that I am not leaving because of everything that you did and honestly I am sick and tired of you asking me the same questions everyday.

 It has been a up and down thing for 8 years and I am tired of it. Everyday I have to ask the same question and its old. I am tired of answering it. I am tired of it all. You're so worried about someone else and others around that you are starting to seem like a narcissist. 

It's like I don't even get time to myself, I can't even go to the bathroom without you being on top of me and I need my space to breathe.  You bring up you always let me go with you but I need my space, you are crowding me and I want my personal time but it is like I cannot have that and I want that. 

Everyday since being sick, I asked you to do things but you still sit in the chair and do the bare minimum. I have asked you to do things months ago and it is still not done so apparently you are worried about me leaving but won't even do the things I asked you to do. 

Yeah, you always want something from me, but you barely do anything but get mad when I call you out on it for lying... this no longer makes me happy... 

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