When the Psycho Comes Out

There are many things that people hide. I for instance hide a dark side, her name is Betu and she doesn't like you! Just kidding she doesn't like lots of things but she loves everyone and everybody.

Some days are bad but others are good. She deals with a lot of her own demons but tries to cope and help others. She even gives you the shirt off her back. Many things makes her appear. She is me and I am her.

She's a personality I gained that helps me cope. She also helps me get through many things along with trying to stay strong and help with my insomnia, depression anxiety and other things I deal with on a daily basis. She's been with me and apart of me for years and years. I sometimes do not remember much and I sometimes black out but she's there.

She and my husband have been here for as long as I imagine. They haven't left my side but only built me up to make me stronger. No one ever knew about her, people barely know exactly what happened to me.

I am half a book but then I am not some days no one understands what I go through except Betu and my husband. They are my best friends and more family than anyone. 

There is nothing to stop her there is no way to know when she will appear. It's weird and strange. I am stuck with her for the rest of my life and it's just a wild wild ride. You go one way but your pulled the other nothing feels right everything feels wrong you try and try again but why not give up?  You get the alone feels feeling worthless and useless to the point you wanna quit but you can't there to much to lose to much to learn so you push it all behind you and keep pushing yourself as you build yourself up so nothing can tear you down. 

There is a lot to know and more to find out. There is something strange that no one understands and know one will know except us and us only. It gets weirder and weirder but it will all be okay soon. It will get better as the days go by.