Lovely Writes

 The soul sinking feeling of watching everyone you grew up with have friends they can go to or talk to while you stick to yourself because you never fit in.  The feeling of wishing you could have a friend but you don't so you decide to go searching for a friend but end up finding people who are not friend type and just do things to you just for their pleasure or just because.   The hopes that you have a support group because  your family isn't the greatest and you're just wishing you had someone else in your corner besides your spouse. Watching people get invited to outings or things and you end up at home by yourself wishing someone would invite you to something.  Wanting to have someone to have kids so your kids can become best friends also. This is a dream.. This was what I was hoping for but in the end, I did not get that. 

 Writing and talking is often times the best medicines. This allows you to get your feelings and emotions out. It allows you to open up and maybe there are someone who is going through the exact same things or maybe they haven't went through it yet and it is coming.  Talking is a great therapeutic thing but if you have no one to talk tom you can always write or vlog about it.  I love writing, I love being able to express my feelings and emotions and what I am thinking because it allows me to be able to express myself so I don't bottle everything up and keep it inside because it is not good to do that. 

 I am sick. I feel like I am not being listened to or heard. I keep explaining everything including how I feel but its like it does not matter. I went to multiple different doctors for diagnoses but its like what is the point of it? I feel like they are not listening nor are trying to help me. They keep pushing medications after medications and it is not helping only making it worst. I have chronic pancreatitis  that flares up occasionally and I have fatty liver disease.  The hospital would not do anything for my pancreas. They gave me IV and nausea medications and sent me home. I have been taking Physicians Choice Digestive enzymes and  OX bile and it seems to be helping break down the foods that my body cannot due to a missing gallbladder that I had to get out. It also is not causing pain as bad in my pancreas and I am less bloated than I was. My liver and pancreas took over and was doing all the work and no one told me that it was going to be harder for the ...