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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Power Freaks (The Book Preview! ) Get your copy today!


Do you need something to read? Are you interested in Fiction hero and villain stories? Are you interested in vampires, Giants, Snakes, all kinds of creatures along with people who have powers? Then this is the book for you! The setting is a high school and that is all you get. 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075PJLC33  - Buy you a copy here!
CHAPTER ONE:
THE BEGINNING

Did you 👀 the 🐰 hopping around the room playing around, 
having fun while birds are chirping and singing hanging from the fan? 
Did you 👀 the pony sticking its head out of the wall 👀 my every movement 
while I sit here in this room and write this 📓? 
Things are appearing and disappearing. 
There are fights happening deep inside of my head with the voices
tearing me apart and they are my only friends. 
They keep me up at night 👀 things that don’t exist.
They argue and argue about things that do not even matter.
I sit and sit thinking on this 🛏️. Writing and writing nonstop.
Nonstop arguments between family, the voices and me. 
They are the only ones that keeps me company right 
along with the misery inside of me.
“Hey loser, you’re never gone amount to anything.”
“Don’t talk to him like that he’s not worthless.”
“Yes, he is; Look at him sitting on this bedside doing nothing with his
life he’s such a low life. Talking to his imaginary friends 👀 things 
and hearing things talking to no one who’s there. 
You have no real friends you just have us, you’re writing your drawings that’s it.
Your family doesn’t even care for you. You’re not even here to them. 
You’re just a nobody. Just dust in the wind nothing but a faded memory.”
“Hey guys look at this jerk off he’s trying to run from all his problems.”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”
“I CAN’T GET ANYTHING DONE!!! I CAN’T 💤 OR
DO ANYTHING WITH Y’ALL TALKING!!!!!”
“Oh Jacob, Only a little longer. You’ll be completely insane. 
You mom threatened to put you into a mental asylum, 
your dad’s in prison for murder. They want nothing to do with you Jacob.”
“Alright guys stop it stop bullying him. 
Let him live stop trying to cause more troubles than he’s got.”
“JACOB.” Calls a voice from down the hall
“JACOB ARE YOU UP, COME ON IT’S YOUR FIRST DAY BACK AND
I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE LATE.” A wondering voice from down the hall.”
“I’M UP.” I yell.
I lay back down. I close my eyes and drift back off to 💤.
“Hey, Jacob, you’re skipping school again today?”
“It’s gonna catch up with you oh wait it already has.”
“You’re just a loser. Nobody likes you nor 😍 you. 
You’ll never get a girlfriend, a weird oh a freak.” The voice argues.
“You mind as well drop out. You’re such a loser; 
You’re too stupid for anything you mind as well give it up 
and quit life you suck at it anyways. You fall at everything nothing 
you do is worth anything; Mind as well just end it.”
“Hey guys let’s leave this loser alone.” “He’s not worth it.” 
“Catch you later Jacob you loser.”

38 stories of my life as a child: Review and preview (GET YOURS TODAY!)

Do you need something else to read? Something that is hilariously funny that will make you laugh throughout the whole book? Then this is the book for you! 
This book is a memoir and an autobiography. It has 38 stories and is nothing but laugher. It tells all about me as a kid and all the funny and hilarious things that I have done to my mom and how I got hurt and half the scars. Here is  preview of the book enjoy!
- Buy yours today!
Introduction
 When I was little I was the Tasmanian Devil or what my mom calls me the devil's child. I have done a lot of things when I was little. I caused a lot of headache and most of my scars came from my childhood. I was a curious child and done almost anything I could not to be bored. The house I live in was my first house. The apartment mom and dad lived in I probably lived in for a couple weeks to a month but this was when I was first born. They felt like there wasn’t much room there so they moved here and this is where all the things that I’ve done or that has happened, happened here.

GREEN!
 The house was still. I was about 3 years old. My mother just got off work. She worked 3rd shift at walmart. Mom comes home and plays with me like she always did. I must of got tired and so I lay down on the living room floor trying to take a nap. She lays down on the floor  and she falls asleep beside me. I wake up and I tapped her she was dead asleep. I got bored didn’t know what to do and then suddenly I hear something calling my name. I went to the trash can and pulled trash out of it. I put it around her. I go in the kitchen and got into the cabinet where the kool aid packets was. I pull the green one out and put water in a cup. I open the green kool aid packet and poured it on her hair. I then grabbed the water and poured it on her hair. After I was done with her hair. I went to the trash can and grabbed a dish detergent bottle and put it in her mouth. She woke up freaking out. I thought It was pretty funny. I could feel her madness. She picks up the trash and walk to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and she freaks out. She takes a shower trying to wash it out but it didn’t work. She calls my dad and tells him he better come get me. He got off work and came and watched me. She had to go back to work anyways.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

38 Stories of my life as a kid! ( Preview, Get yours today!)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01EW18L7G -Ebook

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1521038368 - paperback
- Buy yours today!



Introduction
 When I was little I was the Tasmanian Devil or what my mom calls me the devil's child.
I have done a lot of things when I was little.
I caused a lot of headache and most of my scars came from my childhood.
I was a curious child and done almost anything I could not to be bored.
The house I live in was my first house.
The apartment mom and dad lived in I probably lived in for a couple
weeks to a month but this was when I was first born.
They felt like there wasn’t much room there so they moved here and
this is where all the things that I’ve done or that has happened, happened here.
GREEN!

 The house was still. I was about 3 years old. My mother just got off work.
She worked 3rd shift at walmart. Mom comes home and plays with me like she always did.
I must of got tired and so I lay down on the living room floor trying to take a nap.
She lays down on the floor  and she falls asleep beside me.
I wake up and I tapped her she was dead asleep.
I got bored didn’t know what to do and then suddenly
I hear something calling my name. I went to the trash can and pulled trash out of it.
I put it around her. I go in the kitchen and got into the cabinet where the kool aid packets was.
I pull the green one out and put water in a cup....

Get your Shapewear needs met! Feelin' girl

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